Christmas Holiday Christmas news NOT from The Onion

We promise, this story isn’t from The Onion. It’s real, much like the chupacabra (however, despite what Rick Snee may say to you, the chupacabra is not a real sex act).

A man broke into someone else’s house. That’s a crime. The man then gets high off of bath salts in the house. That’s also a crime? Maybe? We’re not sure if it’s a crime so much as just incredibly low-rent and odd, despite being slightly creative. So, we now have a man who has broken into a house that is not his and is high. Just what could happen next?

If you guessed “he decorates the house with Christmas holiday Christmas odds and ends,” then perhaps you should play the lottery.