Some guys are really into shaving. They’re so into it that they rebel against those super-expensive, multi-bladed monsters, and instead go for expensive, vintage shaving tools to feel fancy. But these guys could be giving themselves old school anthrax.
The Centers for Disease Control has put out a warning to hipsters everywhere that their vintage shaving brushes could come with free vintage anthrax spores. Back around World War I there was a pretty bad outbreak of head and face anthrax in the U.S. and U.K. Researchers are concerned that brushes from before 1930 will carry these anthrax spores and cause a new outbreak among hipsters. All it takes is a nick in the skin for the spores to enter your body and before long, you’ve got swelling, bumps and blisters that could potentially kill you.
But hey, using some other guy’s old shaving stuff is so cool.
It was brought to my attention that there are a few words that I left out of my last purge of the English language. Of course, that was not a definitive list-merely the beginning of an ongoing renovation project.
The criteria is simple: once a word has been abused, sullied and tarred-and-feathered to the point that it is rendered meaningless, I will take it to the shed and put it out of its misery with a bullet between the eyes. It’s all done humanely, and I always gather the torn out dictionary pages with some friends for a good cry. Afterwards, we get drunk and mangle the rest of the language.