Kelso to run for ‘Handsomest Boy in Space’

The latest space-borne threat to the U.S. is nearly upon us: Hollywood Space Madness.

Ashton Kutcher has been approved for space travel on Richard Branson’s first spacecraft, Virgin Galactic. Does Sir Richard not understand the implication of sending a young actor into space, bombarding him with gamma rays and sending him back home to his studio?

We’re talking Joaquin Phoenix times 100 here, people. There aren’t enough late night talk shows to handle that insanity, Craigy Ferguson’s Scottishness notwithstanding.