The Guys are all centered in the state of Virginia. Due to the state’s motto, this might make us lovers.
… That came out wrong.
Regardless, thanks to a new ruling by the state’s Supreme Court, Virginia now might also be for internet trolls. Thanks in part to a court case involving a homeowner and a contractor (as it was the Supreme Court that decided to reverse the original ruling), users of Yelp and other such websites can now post their reviews of businesses, no matter how factual they may or may not be … for now, at least. The burden of proof is currently on the impugned business, as they must prove that said review is libelous in order to have it censored rather than a little more truthful than they’d like.
Upset with the level of service you were given? To the internet machine!
Knowing their state is a lock for Mitt Romney in the 2012 presidential election, members of the Alabama Republican Party have gone full-Mormon. Their new initiative, Alabama’s Battleground Patriots, will send volunteers door-to-door in swing states, including Florida, North Carolina, Ohio and — oh, good lord — Virginia to spread the good word about voting for Romney.
So, it looks like certain Guys who thought they left this malarkey behind when they moved from Alabama to Virginia will be keeping their lights off and remaining as quiet as possible.
The war against our multi-legged enemies continues. Just when we thought we were making ground, the animals begin their invasion plots and in our most sacred areas! Not a place is safe!
Don’t let this continue. Stamp out any animals you see.
Speaking of women getting shot in the legs, another one took a bullet at — of all places — a gun safety course in Virginia. The instructor told police that he had just left the room when he heard a gunshot. One of the students had shot his wife in the leg, but made it look more like an accident by sending the bullet through his own leg first.
It appears that gun owners are taking the open War on Women a little too seriously. If only women would learn that we’re like mama bears, and you don’t get between us and our ammo cubs.
My friends, things are going well for us.
In Smithfield, Virginia, a show dog was recently bitten by a snake. Now, I know and you know that show dogs aren’t exactly the warriors that we would expect to fight on the battle-lines of war, nor do I think we would. They’re not fighting material, but they are propaganda machines. Think Captain America in the Marvel movie universe when he’s on stage punching theater-Hitler. That’s why this is great news for us. One of our enemy’s stars has been attacked by a rogue member of their forces? How can you possibly spin that in a positive way?
We don’t need to sit on our laurels, but frankly, it’s things are looking good at the moment.
I’m pooped. Not to dredge up too much boring domestic crap, but my entire apartment is in shambles from buying new bedroom furniture. On the pro side, there’s a mirror in my bedroom now. On the con side: my wife wouldn’t let me install it on the ceiling.
So, here are a few thoughts I had while cursing through my teeth. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Lightning Round Never Sleeps
A judge in Bristol, Virginia, has abandoned his seat after it came to light that he’d been a constant video gaming companion of a man he’d sent to jail at least three times over the years.
The gaming friendship Judge Joseph R. Carico, had with Jeremy Hubbard, came to light after a late-night car crash last year that hospitalized Hubbard. Carico swerved to avoid a deer on Nov. 22 and smashed into a tree. Of course, as Hubbard’s past came to light, the story about their gaming habits came out. The two talked about their enjoyment of games during a happenstance meeting at a restaurant where Hubbard worked. That led to many game sessions that got so serious, the two thought about forming a competitive gaming team along with some of Hubbard’s neighbors. Which is something that even I haven’t considered doing.
Of course, because gaming is such an honorable past time, Carico prosecuting Hubbard on a drug charge in 2003 is just water under the bridge. Now, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with being gaming BFFs with a felon … unless you’re a judge, where it raises questions of propriety and conflict of interest. Carico hasn’t stuck around to answer them. He’s bolted his seat, leaving the other judges to pick up his case load, and isn’t answering calls for comment. Eep.
I currently reside in a magical town in Virginia. It’s not as super upbeat as where the Bryans live, and it’s not as economically stimulating as where Rick lives, but it does the job. Of course, just 10 minutes down the road from me is the neighboring town of Salem. Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is a truly magical town. No, not because of some kooky witch-based pun, but because in that town, anything can happen.
The sky is green, left is right, orange is taupe and cars crash into the back of offices, rather than the front.
Well, at least one of those things is true.
Last Update: 8 April 2010
On April 12, 1861, Confederate forces opened fire on Fort Sumter, starting a war that would end three days earlier in 1865 at Appomattox Court House.
Because of both sides’ time travel technology, it would be the bloodiest American war until an unfortunate Red Cross “water balloon” fight last weekend in the Bed Bath & Beyond parking lot. (Sorry, Haiti. Maybe you can transfuse next week.)
To honor the brave men and women of Virginia who fought or whored themselves out during the Civil War, Governor Bob “What Homos?” McDonnell proclaimed April to be Confederate History Month.
Some people disagree with this idea, that it promotes a history that is painful to minorities and willfully ignorant. I say it’s perfect, and I’ll lay it all out for you.
Continue reading Take it from Snee: The War Against Southern Regression