Tag: voting

Penises big on the ballot for Los Angeles

It’s a bigger matter than you think. Or depending on your search history, maybe not.

For our readers in Los Angeles, yesterday, you were able to take part in a decision that affects more of your financial situation than you know: putting the condom on the honker in the pron.

Measure B, the code name for the county ordinance that was voted on, was created in part due to the AIDS Healthcare Foundation and STD statistics for Los Angeles, of which porn actors there have more STD’s than Nevada (as in the entire state) prostitutes. Measure B could potentially prevent a lot of bumps being on someone’s noggin.

The ordinance doesn’t really affect The Guys, not because we live in Virginia, but because we like our porn with more heffalumps than what you usually find.

I’m voting it

Those that have gone to an accredited school with the intent of learning about administration and such skills learn tons and tons of what to do and what not to do. Not that this should be felt as a statement that takes away from those that haven’t gone to school. There’s so much stuff that a person will have to learn on the job that it can get a little bewildering.

However, one thing that most people can agree on as common sense is subtly threatening your employees with their jobs to vote a certain way is a bad thing and should not be done. This is not information that you acquire in school. This is not information that you can only learn on the job. This is information that you essentially already know since doing so is potentially illegal.

We’d like a Nobel piece of that action

Gorby is taking notes while Ronnie draws ferrets and Chesterfield cigarettes.The big shocking news of the day is that the Norwegian Nobel Committee has awarded President Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize. And, of course, the critics of the president want to know what he’d done in the last ten months to deserve such recognition.

The Committee praised Obama for:

  • Starting nuclear disarmament talks.
  • Consulting with the U.N. and international communities before bombing invading new countries.
  • Inspiring an emotion (hope) without instituting a nonfluctuating color chart.

So, in other words, not only were the current batch of peacemakers kind of inactive, but the last president made this one look so damn good.

We’d like to congratulate the Nobel Committee for reaching such a decision, but what about prizes for the people that elected him? Hope’s pretty shallow in a square office, if you know what we mean. (Obama does.)

But could she even reach the ballot box?

In the wacky world of politics, sometimes mishaps happen with elections. Like letting old people vote down in Florida or letting the dead vote in Chicago. But what about letting 11-year-olds?

We wouldn’t suggest it if it didn’t happen.

The girl in question was handed a ballot and allowed to vote in the election when she accompanied her Dad to the polling station. They didn’t realize she was underage until she had already cast the ballot, thus making it impossible to discern hers from all the other votes cast, so they had no choice but to accept the ballot.

Of course, the thousand dollar question is: did they just hand her the ballot, without even bothering to ask for ID or confirmation that she’s a voter? Now, in their defense, the poll operators did say that she was exceptionally tall for her age and looked like an adult. This is totally understandable and an incredibly valid line of reasoning. Not a successful line of reasoning, mind you, given the number of pedophiles in prisons.