It is now the second week of June. This is typically the time when baseball’s elite start to distance themselves, and those nice little guys who flirted with .500 and had a division lead when they were 0-0 are starting to settle where they normally end up, and yes, welcome to baseball in D.C..
Baseball in the summertime in D.C. is a lot like football in Oakland, basketball for Clippers’ fans or Tiger Woods’ marriage: dead. If anyone can remember, the Nationals were last relevant in the summer of 2005. It was their first year in Washington, they had Alfonso Soriano and were a division leader going into the All-Star Game. To put this in perspective as to how long ago this was: Fall Out Boy was a “new” artist that year, Wedding Crashers was not in the $7.50 bin at Wal-Mart, SeriouslyGuys wasn’t even a thought, Chris, McBournie and myself were just out of college and batches of Jack Daniel’s that were being released had started aging in 1998. Continue reading Eat My Sports: A Natinals event
In case your calendar doesn’t update to include every observation ever conceived by people with charities to fund, February 5 is National Wear Red Day.
National Wear Red Day was organized by the American Heart Organization, which doesn’t realize that red is already the color of:
- Wrist Awareness
- Sixth Grade Literacy (What? You didn’t read The Red Badge of Courage?)
- Republican Washington Nationals Fandom
- Khurramite Succession Over the Mazdak Religion
- Anthropomorphized Kool-Aid
Basically, we’re saying they could have received better notice if they chose a less used color.
By the way, we’re sorry that we reported everyone wearing red to the FBI for possible ties to Khurramite extremism. We got spooked by the sudden numbers.
Hello, I’m legendary SeriouslyWriter Bryan Schools. I don’t quite know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal, people know me.
And people who know SG know Booze News. People who know Booze News, tend to drink and people who tend to drink tend know good booze, but unfortunately, due to a bad economy and general low standards, they also know bad booze. Kind of like sports has the cream of the crop, and then the cream of the crap, there’s good, there’s bad, and that my friends inspired my horrible idea for a column to compare the best and worst teams of each of the major pro sports … to brands of booze (and in no way was I drinking a vodka Red Bull and Mountain Dew when I wrote this, nor was it Smirnoff, the Denver Nuggets of alcohol). Continue reading Eat My Sports: Booze News style
It’s Friday, and it’s June. It is June, right? OK, good. I am still recovering from a wild weekend. I know, five days is a long time to recover, but man, it was a good time. If you were busy checking out of the hospital after being treated for exhaustion, odds are you missed it.
Now if we can just link this to Bush
Air France Flight 447 crashed into the Atlantic Ocean on its way to Paris from Rio. Everyone died. No wreckage has been found. Actually, only an oil slick has been discovered at this point. The cause of the crash may never actually be known. In other news, 9/11 conspiracy theorists have a new hobby ahead of them.
See! He really is one of them!
Addressing fellow Muslims in Cairo, Egypt this week, President Barack Obama quoted both the Koran and the Bible, while he said it was time for the U.S. and the Islamic world to mend the fences. He also said it was time for Israel to stop settling on the West Bank. This upset Israelis, because difference between the East Bank and the West Bank is like that of West and East Hampton.
Even the mustache is smiling
Randy Johnson got his 300th career win, but that’s really not anything special, because it was against the Washington Nationals, who do not technically play baseball according to modern definitions. But still, the Big Unit got to the 300 mark, making him likely the last person to reach that milestone. He also leads the league in lifetime struck birds.
Sean Hannity interviewed Rush Limbaugh on is FOX News show this week. No one asked questions, they just agreed that they are right about everything.