Take it from Snee: Simpsons did it

In the 2007 episode of The Simpsons, “Husbands and Knives,” guest star Alan Moore (and writer of Watchmen and V for Vendetta) ripped into Milhouse for asking him to sign his DVD of Watchmen Babies in V for Vacation.

Milhouse took his life into his own hands, for Alan Moore is a ceremonial magician who communicates with gods, primarily the Roman snake god, Glycon.

Fortunately, DC has their own magical snake anti-venom: piles of money. And they now plan to use this immunity to publish seven new Watchmen prequels titled Before Watchmen, only this time without Alan Moore or Dave Gibbons.

All I can say is, after 25 years, it’s about damn time. Here’s why: Continue reading Take it from Snee: Simpsons did it

MasterChugs Theater: ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’

So, I’ve got good news and bad news.

The good news is that the latest Hugh Jackman vehicle, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, is light-years better than the last X-men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand.

The bad news? That’s akin to saying the flu is better than lung cancer.

Delve inside to find out what the jury wants to say about the movie. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’

Take it from Snee: Justice has a new s##tface

So, it turns out that there are costumed heroes roving the streets of Cincinnati. (Seriously, watch the video.)

Yeah, I was surprised, too. I thought Cincinnati burned down shortly after WKRP was canceled. But, no: Shadowhare, your friendly neighborhood guy-who’s-obsessed-with-Donnie-Darko-and-Watchmen, patrols the streets with his band of presumably twenty-something-year-old friends, talking to homeless people, annoying (yet, entertaining) cops and even communicating with other likeminded individuals online.

The first thing that came to mind was, “Where did I go after The Guys’ last get-together: The Absinthe-Minded Professors.” (We watched both versions while drinking absinthe and, after running out, then concocted our own “flubber.”)

No, I’m not Nightbunny. But The Guys fit the profile so much that perhaps we should fight crime, fueled by liquid courage. But, what would we look like? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Justice has a new s##tface

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.’

The weekend before last, an event took place that for nearly 20 years, no one thought would ever actually happen-Watchmen, the movie, came out in theaters. Before the movie even begin pre-pre-production, the fandom was split down the middle on whether Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s landmark comic book story would be utter crap or the second golden age of comic-book movies. When the first initial script came flocking about the internet depicting time paradoxes, an assassination plot and Rorschach taking it to your face, much lamenting was done.

Now, a radically different script (at least, in comparison to the original first script) has been given life, finally giving the unwashed masses (your typical fan at San Diego Comicon) a chance to watch a live action version of the film. For some, the movie is once again down the line in terms of opinion, but not quite to the degree of the previous feelings. This, for the most part, is understandably so. Even SG’s own Bryan McBournie gave his own review of the film recently, unhappy with how it went.

There is one thing you need to understand, though: Bryan McBournie is horribly, horribly wrong.

No, really. Hit the jump to find out. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.’

The McBournie Minute: Man watching ‘Watchmen’ checks watch

Once again, fanboys, you have hyped the crap out of a movie and thus ruined it for me. I finally got to see Watchmen over the weekend. I’m not going to point fingers, but fans of the “novel” played it up to be the second coming. I was thoroughly entertained, even though the movie was slow as hell. That being said, it’s still just a comic book movie, and those can only be so good. I would rank this one somewhere between Iron Man and Daredevil. (It’s good for what it is, but it’s nothing transcendent.)

My main problem with the movie is that there is very little explained. Yes, fanboys, I know–that’s the point. But you know what? I’m not going back to spend another $20 and nearly three hours of my life to try to figure out some of the glaring plot holes.

Without giving away any of the plot points, let’s take a look at some of the issues I have. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Man watching ‘Watchmen’ checks watch

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Role Models’

We’re changing the format a little this month for MasterChugs Theater. It’s been a tradition to use March as the month in which we look over the truly horrible of the cinematic bombs, mainly to celebrate the birthdays of both my mom and my younger brother. Not so much this year. Instead, prepare for Awful April, a truly audacious lunar period. In the meantime, get ready for this guy’s review of Role Models. Rather than review Watchmen (which I’ll do next week), take a look at a movie that comes out on DVD this past Tuesday and was easily the funniest movie of 2008.

The misconception about guy comedies is that they’re all about boobs and male bonding and dudes making bongs out of Sprite cans. The best ones in recent years have possessed a sensitive side that’s almost as strong as films from the other side of the cinematic spectrum. (Which would be Nicholas Sparks dramas? Or Lifetime channel movies?)

Heroes of guy comedies might have multiple sexual conquests and celebrate insensitive behavior, but, in the end, romance, responsibility and a pursuit of monogamy usually prevails. The movie doesn’t work if the men in the audience don’t feel OK about going home to their girlfriends and wives when the final credits stop rolling. When it comes to comedy, the comedic timing this film has, coupled with its ability to bump up just against the edge of over-the-top, is what makes it a hit. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Role Models’

You Missed It: Kiss my white ass edition

It’s March! That means we must be close to spring or something. The good news is that it just sounds better to say, it’s March. It sounds like things are much better than dark, dreary February. Some of you may be excited purely because March means March Madness. Well, don’t look for any college basketball coverage here. We tend to stick to the binge drinking that March is also known for. If you were busy playing in a meaningless international baseball tournament this week, odds are you missed it.

Off to a great start changing the face of the GOP
The newly-crowned RNC Chairman Michael Steele caused some controversy when he called AM radio pundit Rush Limbaugh an “entertainer” who is known to say inflammatory things. Limbaugh of course took exception to this, and did so on his radio show, which is also televised, for the entertainment of his fans and their “mega dittos.” Steele apologized this week. Limbaugh accepted, and then went back to making inflammatory statements like how he hopes the president fails.

But why does the funny guy get whacked?
Watchmen was released in theaters, amid much hype and fanfare. The movie, based on a famous really long comic book graphic novel, has been heavily anticipated since last summer or something. Rick and Chugs held hands in the movie theater together, but did not stick around afterward, claiming they had to clean up a bit. The film opened up to mixed reviews, ranging from “It was just like the book” to “Good god was that long!”

Jacko is still whacko but he’s backo
Michael Jackson announced that he would be performing 10 final shows this summer in London. The shows are expected to sell out what he calls his “I Need This To Pay My Court Fines” tour. He said he chose London for his venue because he is really looking forward to visiting Hogwarts. (What? You expected something non-child related in a Jackson story?)

How To: Attend a movie premier

Chugs is on leave this week for a death in his family. MasterChugs Theater will return when he’s ready to come back.

The Watchmen premieres in select theaters at midnight, Friday.

Drink that in for a second. SeriouslyGuys, a Web site that, for the past three years, has only been interested in lining our own pockets and furthering our own agenda just gave notice of someone else’s work … in a non-plagiaristic sense.

This is the most anticipated movie premier since Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, and we all know how well that turned out. Still, while the movie owes us $9 apiece, the premier was a spectacle: a last throwback to whatever opera fans used to do when Mozart was still alive and farting Salieri tunes.

This film, really, is just a reason to get together with like-minded folks. The lynch mob clamoring for the director’s blood afterwards is merely a coincidence.

In any case, it’s important to be prepared for what may be the defining moment of your life (and let’s face it: this might be). That’s why The Guys — except McBournie, who frowns on your shenanigans — are teaching you how to attend a movie premier. Continue reading How To: Attend a movie premier