Japan would like you to know that humanity is doomed and they’ve had a hand in said dooming.
Again.
A man in Japan has been teaching Pan-kun, a particularly intelligent chimpanzee, to use water weapons on human beings. The chimp learns quite quickly once the desired technique is demonstrated, ably aping the trainer’s actions, using a hydraulic pump gun as well as a more Super Soaker-like weapon on the unsuspecting cameraman, then targeting a group of effigies, including one of show presenter Ken Shimura.
Pan-kun is actually a celebrity of sorts. Among other things he has learned to play baseball as well as make, then eat noodles. What all this adds up to is some great news for those who fear takeover by intelligent robots. Instead, we will be conquered by the intelligent animals and human subspecies, invented by the over-consumption of genetically modified food.
Our only hope? Blowing up the Statue of Liberty.
(Not really, FBI and CIA)