Tag: water

South and South: The nonalcoholic drums of war

In our continuing coverage of the border dispute between Tennesse and Georgia, emotions are running high. Not only does Georgia want Tennessee’s water, but they also want to turn at least one Tennessee town dry.

Citizens of Copperhill, Tenn. share half of their city with McCaysville, Ga. The Tennesse half serves alcohol; the Georgia side hates America. If Georgia lawmakers get their way and move the Georgia border north one mile, Copperhill will become part of McCaysville’s dry county.

This latest development means the war is no longer about resources, but a way of life. It will surely come to violence now:

“Even 14-year-old Michelle Martinez, walking home from school in Copperhill, grimaced at the suggestion of suddenly living in another state.

“‘If I wanted to live in Georgia I’d [invade] down there,’ she said[, shaking her grandpappy’s rifle in the direction of those teetotalling so’s-and-so’s].”

Put down that water bottle!

According to two scientists from the Renal, Electrolyte and Hypertension Division at the University of Pennsylvania, there is absolutely no evidence that drinking eight glasses of water a day is good for your health.

But you know what has been proven to be good for you?  (Hint: read the “Filed Under” in this post’s header.)

That’s right: its booooooooooze!

Update to ‘South and South: Civil War II?’

SeriouslyGuys has received urgent news from the frontlines of a disputed border between Tennessee and Georgia.

In response to the Georgian legislature’s resolution to annex portions of Tennessee below the 35th parallel, Ron Littleford, the mayor of the contested city of Chatanooga is sending a single truck full of bottled water across the border with a counter-proclamation.

The enclosed proclamation rejects Georgia’s “land and water grab” and suggests “focusing on [more productive] conservation efforts.”

Could this water truck be carrying more than sarcasm and water into the Georgia heartland? It would be irresponsible of this blog to say so, but it does coincide with another event in history.

Next they’ll be adding fluoride

It is all too common for citizens and water connoisseurs alike to complain about the taste of their town’s water. Sometimes it’s pumped in from other places, sometimes it’s disgusting well water that turns your shower an unnatural shade of reddish orange. Lititz, Pennsylvania has had something many towns would want: mint tasting water.

Purely by coincidence, the town is home to the world’s largest Listerine manufacturing plant. The company of course denied that they had any part in why the town’s water suddenly changed taste. So Lititz had some water tests done. Wouldn’t you know, there were some “mouthwash flavoring agents” in the town’s water.

Not so excited about this news is the town that is home to the world’s largest Clorox plant.

South and South: Civil War II?

It’s been one busy week for this Southern correspondent. On top of tornadoes, a sugar refinery explosion and Mike Huckabee delegates, Georgia lawmakers are instigating an expansion of their border into Tennessee.

Georgia’s legislature has proposed a resolution to “move the Tennessee-Georgia boundary about a mile to the north of where it now lies,” placing it exactly at the 35th parallel. The shift would give them access to the Nickajack Reservoir on the Tennessee River to help alleviate Georgia’s water woes.

Tennessee residents of the proposed Rhineland are opposed to the measure and have already drafted unofficial responses:

“One state senator offered to settle the issue with a football game. Another suggested floating an armada of University of Tennessee fans down the Tennessee River to defend the state’s territory.”

Could the 35th parallel become the equivalent of the 38th parallel between North and South Korea? We smell a new Ken Burns special! Stay tuned to this blog for updates as we cover, “South and South: Civil War II?”