SG is the hero to your children

In what sounds like a story one might find in The Berenstein Bears, thievery is afoot! A patch of 100 onions, grown by fifth graders in Maine, were completely stolen. The children are let down, as they grew the root vegetable for the homeless.

Allow us to solve the crime. The culprit is either:

  • the newest seller at the farmer’s market with a giant bushel of onions to sell
  • whoever reeks of onions

You’re welcome.

Leroy Jenkins not a credible reference for politicians

Colleen Lachowicz is a democrat running for state senate in Waterville, Maine and she also happens to play a lot of World of Warcraft. As per Maine Republicans, this means that she is more than unfit for office, and as such, the Maine Republican Party has set up an entire website dedicated to digging up old forum posts made by Lachowicz.

“Colleen Lachowicz is a Democrat candidate for Maine State Senate. In Colleen’s online fantasy world, she gets away with crude, vicious and violent comments like the ones below. Maine needs a State Senator that lives in the real world, not in Colleen’s fantasy world.”

Yes, this is an actual website set up by the Maine Republican Party.

This whole situation is hilarious in the “you can’t believe it’s actually real” hilarious, kind of like in the beginning for the replacement refs for the NFL. To use the fact that she plays World of Warcraft as a political dig against her? It’d only be an understandable claim if the woman played Second Life.