Downloadin’ a PETA ass

Ahoy, mateys! Everyone knows a pirate’s best friend on a long voyage be his right hand, unless it’s a hook and then it’s the left. To cash in on this, PETA will be launching a pornographic Web site once the .xxx domain be available come Decemberrrr.

The site will feature buxom lasses doing wenchy things, followed by graphic footage of animal abuse. The Guys think this be a fine plan, PETA, if ye goal be to train the next generation of Internet masturrrrbators to maintain erections during animal suffering.

(Special thanks to ye, Nyssa 23!)

Love, love them don’t

The Vatican posted a new set of rules on its Web site today for how to handle pedophile cases. Apparently, the rule now is to report them to the police.

The quick response–a mere two weeks after reports started turning up in the news concerning Pope Benedict’s wild and heady days as a young archbishop–stunned critics as the Church normally embraces new ideas, like our heliocentric solar system, once every 500 years.

And just to drive the point home about forgiveness, the Vatican followed up this announcement with another one forgiving The Beatles.

Great, now the Internet’s unsafe for children

Pope Benedict XVI has asked Catholic ministers and priests to use the Internet to spread the gospel. Ben (and only we are allowed to call him that) cited the Church’s adoption of other media like books, television and weekly wine tastings as justification to moving online.

We can see a couple of flaws to this plan:

  1. The priests who are already Web savvy are also already on Chris Hansen’s watchlist.
  2. The priests who aren’t online will have trouble setting up blogs and Web sites since they never had children to do it for them. (This is also why the clergy doesn’t use DVRs and their clocks always read “88:88.”)

Still, we think His Holiness is on the right track and welcome him and his brethren to the ’90s.

A Microsoft product didn’t work?!

In an effort to help people recognize as a product from the Microsoft we’ve all grown to know and love, the Web search site was brought down by for a half hour because of a testing error.

The branding move backfired, however, when both Bing users received a 404 error and went to Google to find the new URL.

We’re big Microsoft fan boys here at SG, though, so we’d like remind you that, at least when Bing goes down, it doesn’t crash your entire system like other MS products. So, there’s your lemonade, Mr. Gates.