Prom rescheduled due to drinking problem

Finally realizing that the prom was cutting into students’ weekend drinking hours, New York’s Pearl River High School moved the alcohol-free event to weeknights.

Thanks to the rescheduling, students will no longer be forced to make late night trips to the Jersey Shore or Manhattan night clubs, but can instead now start drinking at Happy Hour rates like normal human beings.

School officials are so impressed with their accommodation skills that they may also permit alcoholic students to skip graduation, which gives them more tailgating time during the long, arduous ceremony.