We already knew there was something geeky about humpback whales. Their scoliosis is a dead giveaway, and swimmers are just below soccer players–but above mathletes–in the hierarchy of athletics.
But, now science believes that they may use astronomy to track their annual migration between the equator and polar regions. That’s full-blown nerdry right there.
Just when we think we’re reaching a stable point in the War on Animals, nature finds a way to change the entire game. They’re now using our own government–in this case, the U.S. fish and Wildlife Service–as a human shield.
Knowing our hesitance to open fire on endangered species, the animals are now recruiting whales and bison to conduct suicide bombings around the world. The bastards!
You know what this means, warriors: we need the Japanese.
