You Missed It: This post is over edition

Bryan McBournie is gone for the day. I won’t tell you where he is, but I’ll just say that what he’s doing rhymes with “pot neing a bedophile.” As such, your favorite (emphasis mine) fill-in writer, me, will have to satisfy your SeriousDesire. Look into my eyes. You know you want it. Just think of it as Christmas in July, even the Jewish people. If you were too busy popping any recalled pills so that you could get extra strength awesome (and by awesome, I mean ouch), odds are you missed it.

When Internet Doves Cry

The musician known as Prince that was then formerly known as Prince and now is known once again as Prince has declared that the internet is over, which has put our website into a little bit of a worry, seeing as how we’re web-based and all. The artist from Minnesota stated that the internet has become like MTV, outdated and that digital devices just fill your head with numbers. Of course, we’re thinking that he’s simply a little perturbed since there’s no key on a QWERTY keyboard for the “symbol.”

There’s a New King In Town

Heralded NBA player Lebron James, after months of deliberation and much press, has finally made his decision about where he will play next year. The hallowed “King” James has decided that the city where he will play in for the 2010-2011 season is Miami, as a member of the Miami Heat, alongside other superstar free agents Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. He leaves the Cleveland Cavaliers after 7 seasons as a Cav.

This Just In

The city of Cleveland is no more and has become a victim of a self-inflicted scorched Earth policy.

New Cheese Flavored Alzheimer’s Cure

A study at a university involving old rats has shown that they’re starting to retain their memories after losing them. This is great news, as even the derivative of the compound given to the rats appears to be even better at protecting memory neurons. Another great benefit: now we can remember just how many rats we killed, along with how many more we need to.