Turkey gets Wal-Mart greeter fired

The weather is warming up again, which means that animals are renewing their assault on Wal-Marts across the country. Yeah, remember that?

In Wisconsin, an 88-year-old Wal-Mart greeter has lost his job all because of a wild turkey, and not the drinking kind. According to reports, Bob Tallinger has been a greeter for eight years, and he just watched as a turkey sauntered through the door of his Wal-Mart. He probably even said hello, because that’s his job. But management didn’t like how he didn’t try to shoo the turkey out, or notify someone to get it out of the store. So the bigwigs let him go.

Now this elderly man is out of a job, probably forced to spend time with the woman he’s been married to for 50 years. And it’s all because of a stupid turkey.

Bourbon theft ring caught, hootch to be destroyed

Like a lot of people, The Guys like bourbon. And apparently we’re not the only ones, because there’s a black market for the stuff.

In Kentucky, authorities have arrested workers at the Buffalo Trace and Wild Turkey distilleries in connection with a series of bourbon thefts going back the better part of a decade. The theft ring may even be responsible for the theft a year or so ago of cases of Pappy Van Winkle Family Reserve, the holy grail of bourbons.

Now that cops have found some of the stolen booze, it has to be destroyed under state law. A classic case of blaming the victim. #saveourbourbons