Bionic man leaps tall building in at least 1,648 bounds

Zac Vawter just climbed 103 flights of stairs, and, boy, are his servos tired!

Vawter just successfully used a thought-controlled prosthetic leg to complete the SkyRise Chicago fundraising event in Willis Tower. His new limb, designed by various universities and the U.S. Army’s Telemedicine and Advanced Technology Research Center, allowed Vawter to scale 103 flights of stairs with 3,000 other climbers. And, unlike the prosthetics we saw at the Summer Olympics, this one actually moves and reacts to Vawter’s mental commands like a real limb or Luke Skywalker’s hand.

And, maybe next time, they’ll let him take the elevator.

Big business-as-usual sullies tallest U.S. building

Ladies and gentlemen, we cannot go any further with this story until you are seated and firmly gripping your stress balls.

Are you prepared to be distressed? We warned you.

Global insurance broker, Willis Group Holdings, is forcing the Sears Tower to change its name to Willis Tower. They plan to lease mulitple floors in the building, and the name change is part of their corporate hostile takeover demands.

How dare they? What makes these business-types think we want to see a corporate logo on every historic landmark?

It’s bad enough that these companies have slathered their monikers on every sports arena, but what’s next? Is Mrs. Fields going to move the headquarters of her mall cookie franchise into the Statue of Liberty and force us to call it the Statue of Mrs. Fields?

(You like it, you really like it.)

No. We, The Guys, refuse to play ball. It will always be called the Sears Tower in our hearts and on this Web site, Wall Street blood money regardless. We’d like to think there’s a few things in this country that the highest dollar can’t buy.