Alcohol trade group wants to legalize it, man

There was a time when the alcohol industry wanted nothing to do with marijuana. It didn’t want to be associated with illegal drug use. Apparently times have changed. Pass me a cabernet sauvignon, dude.

Last week, the Wine and Spirits Wholesalers of America, put out a statement supporting states’ efforts to decriminalize and legalize the recreational use of pot. This is not a small thing, because the group represents 80% of all wine and liquor wholesale distributors. If you drank something other than beer over the weekend, it probably came from these guys.

All this is great news for those stoner girls you knew in college who wanted a marriage of weed and wine in a single glass.

Wine: The hot new trend in mouth wash

You’ve probably seen friends passing around a news story about how wine can increase your longevity. It doesn’t. It just says that people who are 90 or whatever and drink wine seem to be in better shape mentally than those who don’t. But science has found that wine might actually be good for the health of your mouth.

According to a recent study in Spain, some of the chemicals found in red wine can actually prevent tooth decay and gum disease. Polyphenols have been shown to kill harmful bacteria in your mouth, decreasing your chances of having mouth problems, aside from purple lips and teeth, and slurring your words. They have even been found to have positive effects on your gut bacteria.

The Guys aren’t dentists, but we recommend keeping a bottle of cabernet next to your toothbrush. It’s the only mouth wash that’s safe to swallow.

Don’t drink beer like the ancient Greeks

“Name an IPA after me, not that jerk Pliny.”

When you think of drinking in the ancient world, you probably think about wine. You’re not wrong. But it turns out that cabernet sauvignon isn’t the only paleo booze out there. Especially in the cradle of democracy.

Researchers have discovered a lot of evidence that the ancient Greeks brewed and drank beer. At the sites of two ancient Greek towns dating back to 2000 B.C., scientists found some buildings associated with brewing and grains used to make beer, as well as a whole bunch of cups near the grains.

The only thing is that because the cups are shaped in a way that drinking out of them would be very difficult, researchers believe the ancient Greeks drank beer with straws. And who does that?

Take it from Snee: Opposite Day

When British General Lord Cornwallis surrendered to George Washington, his drum and fife corps played “The World Turn’d Upside Down.”

History is full of opposite days. So much so, in fact, that I spent every day between kindergarten and today practicing for one. Especially when caught in a childhood gaffe, like accidentally admitting to watching David the Gnome every day. “What? No! I was kidding! It’ s Opposite Day. Or is it?

Reading the news today, it’s either Opposite Day, or I drove through a dimensional detour on my way to work. After all, there are certain truths that will always be true, right? Truths like …  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Opposite Day

Baby Merlot now serving Toddler Wine

Frequent readers already know that The Guys are entrepreneurs. We entered the booze business recently by selling Baby Merlot, a brand of wine that trains future drinkers in the womb so that they’ll be more advanced than their wine cooler-sipping peers in Kindergarten.

We’re no proud to introduce phase two: Toddler Wine. Toddler Wine is available in white, red or blush and is served in mommy’s glass. This will help mommy share sips of her wine with her toddler, fostering shared interests, all while keeping Junior in training for the big league drinks in high school. Basically, if Baby Merlot is our Childhood Development program’s Baby Mozart, then Toddler Wine is our Sesame Street.

But what about after the toddler years? The Guys are busy in our lab, trying on each other’s coats. And also working out the kinks in our beer and liquor programs.

Starbucks wants to Irish up your coffee

And by that, we mean beat you senselessly with a shillelagh. No, no, no, of course we don’t mean that. Well, at least for the most part.

Starbucks, the famous coffee giant, has always been in the flavored coffee business, but now, they’re looking to jump into the flavored coffee with flavor business. Having tested the plan here and there in a few Seattle and Portland stores, locations in Atlanta and Southern California will, over the year, have their menu expanded to include items such as beer and wine. Oh sure, there’ll be new food items as well, but pffft, why fill up your stomach with food when you can fill it up with more booze?

Bring your gas cans!

You know what sucks about wine, other than the high prices, snooty people who drink it, stains on your teeth and headaches? You can’t pour your own bottle of it.

Well, that is to say you used to not be able to pour your own bottle of it. In France (of course), they now have machines in supermarkets where you can fill up a container with a tap much the way you would a glass of beer from a keg, and it measures how much you pour like a gas pump. These machines could be hitting stores in the U.S. of A. in a year.

Be the first on your block to do a wine stand!

Wine on the go

So, Great Britain might not be all that great of a place to live, as we have gently pointed out recently. But what about the good parts of England, you know, aside from Mr. Bean?

Folks, over there you can get wine sold in glasses–at a convenience store. James Nash created individual glasses with wine in them for sale, and apparently they are selling like tea and crumpets over there. All you do is tear off the lid like it’s a serving of pudding, and enjoy!

That gives us a great idea: whiskey-in-a-glass.

The McBournie Minute: Wine, women and weight

Women readers, and I mean both of you, it’s time we had a chat.

You’re getting older–everyone is–but you’re getting increasingly worried about how age could affect you and the looks you strive so hard to maintain. It’s easier for men, even in their younger years, they don’t need much upkeep, they don’t even really care if they put on a few pounds or get a little salt in their pepper. For some reason, they still look good.

Meanwhile, you ladies have to deal with a society that constantly judges you on your looks. From childhood, you were conditioned to want to look pretty, and it was reinforced when other girls would either mock you or respect you based on your appearance. Now that you’re getting older, perhaps you’re worried about gaining weight with age, not to mention childbirth. Science has a solution: alcohol. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Wine, women and weight

Merlot flavored slurpee not available for press

The home of the Slurpee and the Big Gulp is launching a line of value-priced wines targeting consumers looking for a boozy bargain during these tough economic times. 7-Eleven plans to sell a $3.99 Cabernet Sauvignon and a Chardonnay under the proprietary “Yosemite Road” label at its stores in the United States and Japan.

The world’s third-largest winemaker (the Wine Group in California, which also makes Corbett Canyon and Glen Ellen wines) will produce the two wines for the convenience store chain.Wine for not so connoisseur nose is all fine and good, but the question that’s really on everyone’s mind is when are they going to make a 7-Eleven label MD 20/20?