Tag: witch

Prove it by taking a shower with us

There are certain sentences that, when uttered, assure the world that you have no hope of ever winning your election:

  • “I don’t have to tell anyone where I buried her.”
  • “Is it just me, or are Laotians kind of smarmy?”
  • “YEEEAAAAAAARGH!”
  • “I’m not a witch.”

Delaware Republican Senate candidate and late night television darling, Christine O’Donnell released a new ad, saying that she is–in fact–“not a witch.” She went on to claim that she is you.

Yes, you. Unless you’re a witch. Then she isn’t you.

… Or is she? Don’t look in the mirror!

The sword is mightier than the witch

Witches: we haven’t covered them in a while, and because the lack of light shown on them, seem to be growing in size as of late. Domestic witch rates are skyrocketing. Women are becoming witches faster than we can dunk them in the river.

What’s even worse is that they have swords with which they choose to accidentally hurt themselves. A witch in Indiana was in the middle of a ceremony involving a sword when she stabbed herself in the foot unintentionally. Yes, she was outside in the dark, under a full moon, with candles lit. She just happened to miss when she tried to drive her sword into the ground. It can only be assumed she bled green.

Worst of all, the ceremony had been in thanks for good luck the witch had had.

Take it from Snee: Who is Hillary Clinton?

Don’t let that McCain ad in our right-hand margin fool you: SeriouslyGuys is, and always has been, a relatively apolitical site. We don’t endorse candidates because we’re issues-driven. (Those issues, of course, are the wars on animals, aliens and education.) That said, when we write about political candidates in the Scurry section, it’s always in the interest of equal-opportunity offense.

So there’s been some bellyaching from Hillary-supporters. They are upset because Barack Obama gets, as they put it, “far more coverage” in the media. In an attempt to balance the Democratic media-coverage spreadsheet, I’ve decided to provide the Hillary campaign with coverage comparable to Obama’s. (You’re welcome, Mrs. Clinton.)

Continue reading Take it from Snee: Who is Hillary Clinton?