Human health NOW valued at 1.7 billion dollars

Life. We all need it (well, most of us). However, what we don’t need to know, typically, is the amount that it’s worth.

Well, thanks to a lawsuit that’s been filed in Santa Monica, we now know an approximation: 1.7 billion dollars.

At least, this is how much Denise Barton thinks her life is worth. She’s filed the suit, claiming that the wireless parking meters used in the city have interfered and ruined her life. Apparently some people think you can fight city hall. Sometime back, the World Health Organization stated that low-level radiation may cause cancer and maladies in humans. Extrapolating from this, Barton thinks that the city is trying to kill her. Tin-foils hats ON.

The thing, what happens if she wins the lawsuit? Just how much would her life be worth if the parking meters were removed? More? Less? These are the intriguing thoughts we have that aren’t morbid at all and don’t imply a termination contract for her. Nope. Not at all. No. Ummm … next subject!

Give a crap: it’s World Toilet Day

Ever since Nov. 19, 2001, the World Health Organization has celebrated World Toilet Day, which is shocking to The Guys. If there were four people on Earth that this holiday was clearly designed for, it’s us. And yet, we just learned about it today.

It’s not too late to lend a wiping hand, though (if you live in Mountain or Pacific time zones)! You can squat at noon to understand what it’s like for the billions of people who don’t have a potty to sit on.

Just think: over one-third of our planet’s population has never gotten Bryan School’s phone number or seen a swastika carved angrily into a stall. And God knows where they cruise for gay politicians.

Timing is everything

For 50 years, the International Association for Suicide Prevention and the World Health Organization have promoted Sept. 10 as World Suicide Prevention Day. It’s important because–though 3,000 people successfully take their own lives every day–an estimated 60,000 attempt it.

So, as the link above mentions, maybe take some time to bone up on “Take 5 to Save Lives” to learn more about the signs of suicidal behavior and ways to help a friend or yourself.

Now that we got that of the way: Can you imagine telling callers to a suicide prevention hotline on Sept. 10, 2001 that tomorrow will be a better day?

The McBournie Minute: Swine flu could be just what economy needs

We got tired of worrying about Iraq, mostly because it was messy and a lot of people just got tired of the protesters screaming about this and that all the time. Luckily, we got to jump on the green bandwagon, so we could worry about global warming/climate change instead. This was especially fun during the election season, because it enabled us to see where the candidates stood on an issue that they can do very little to affect in the first place.

But let’s face it, thinking about the world ending, Asian countries ceasing to exist, crops ruined, lack of oxygen, the increase of stronger hurricanes, snow in Las Vegas, heat waves in April, etc. can get downright depressing. It’s enough to make you want to go out and drive around with the air conditioning cranked until you can finally clear your head. Once again, we were provided with a new topic to scream about: the economy. Turns out we were in a recession for a year and never knew it. Cue the layoffs, bailouts and general concern about how people will be able to pay for their iPhone plans.

That got really old. A couple months ago pretty much everyone got tired of hearing about how a population equal to that of Wisconsin lost their jobs, so we asked our media to change its tune. That’s why we get stuff about being frugal now. (Did you know you can read newspapers online for free? 101 money-saving tips inside!) But there was a void. You felt it, didn’t you? It was the void of not having something to constantly worry about, aside from who is getting voted off American Idol. Luckily, we now have something: swine flu apparently happened over the weekend, because the news media are all over this story and why you should be very, very afraid. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Swine flu could be just what economy needs