Guy says aliens got him drunk, sent him back in time

It’s always been the favorite argument of time travel skeptics: If time travel is possible, why haven’t we seen any time travelers? That excuse just got blown to bits.

In Casper, Wyoming, police were called to a residence on Monday and found a man who said he was from the future. Also, he was visibly drunk. Authorities say Bryant Johnson claimed to be from the year 2048, and he had traveled back in time with an urgent message: aliens are going to invade next year, so prepare.

The future is weird. Johnson said aliens sent him back in time by filling him up with booze and having him stand on a pad. The aliens must have been drunk, too, because Johnson said he was supposed travel back to 2018, not 2017.

It’s been 48 hours, so there’s a good chance Johnson has that alien future booze out of his system. We’ll see if he has any other warnings for us in the days ahead.

Wyoming wants you to forget that it has gonorrhea

There are some dirty places in Wyoming, and the state wants people to know that some of those dirty places are infected.

The state health department began an STD awareness campaign recently, which included buying billboard reading, “Wyoming has gonorrhea. Do you?” The sign attracted a lot of attention, but unfortunately not the kind it wanted. Wyoming’s gonorrhea sign went viral (heh), and it offended some people.

So much pressure built up that the sign was taken down last week. Now the world may never know if Wyoming has any other diseases.

One way to quit your job: steal a train

There are a lot of creative ways to quit your job. Sadly, many of us refuse to go through with our fantasies because we treasure the prospect of a referral. Then there are people who live out their fantasies, and end up going off the rails, so to speak.

Police say an disgruntled employee at a Wyoming coal mine did just that. According to authorities, Derek Skyler Brux worked at a rail line for a coal operation, and decided to steal a train. He challenged his boss to a game of chicken. He eventually found another train to hit while going only 10 mph, then he backed up and hit it again.

He was caught when he fled on foot after causing a lot of damage, but no injuries.