Tag: x files

Richard Dreyfuss is still terrified of red circles

DOON DOON DOONDOONDOON DOON-DOON.

Oh, like you’re any better at phonetically spelling the theme to the X-Files?

An alleged UFO that zoomed over the city of Luque in Paraguay sounds very much like the strobing, disco-like UFOs in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It’s being reported that many people in the Luque area saw the object:

According to their story, the sighting involved a large object with several lights whose colors changed constantly.

Raul Torres explained that his sister informed him of the object’s manifestation. He went outside for a look and realized that it was an object moving slowly across the skies, with lights that changed colors.

“It wasn’t your ordinary star. It moved and then remained still,” added Selva Torres. “Its bright flashes, and its colors, impressed us all. Many of us here were watching.”

I hope for the sake of our future that these ships were the real thing. Why? Because I’m a greedy man that desperately wishes Will Smith would greet them with a rousing “WELCOME TO EARF!”

Crisis of faith in Carolina

Well, Florida’s plans of a Christian license plate didn’t go too well. (Something about a church and state separation thing.) Next up: South Carolina, where the U.S. Constitution has been interpreted selectively since 1788.

Yes, South Carolina drivers could soon be expressing their faith through “I Believe” license plates. Because Christians cannot express their faith through, you know, magnetic fish.

Here are some other “I Believe” license plates we are sure to see:

  • “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” Available to members of The Darkness only.
  • “I Want To Believe” For X-Files fans, especially for this summer’s release.
  • “Yo Believo” For owners of Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again.
  • And to capitalize on the popularity of Grey’s Anatomy:
    “I believe in the good. I believe that it’s been a hell of a year. And I believe, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we will all be OK. I believe a lot of things. I believe that Denny is always with me. And I believe that if I eat a tub of butter, and no one sees me, the calories don’t count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are just lazy. I believe you are a man who made a terrible mistake by marrying Callie. And I believe that because you’re my best friend, I can tell you this and we can be OK. I believe even though you made this mistake, you will be OK, I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive is what makes us survive.”