Science has finally given us the ability to shoot laser beams from our eyes. It’s a wonderful future, everyone.
It’s been the dream of mankind since the dawn of comic books, and now it’s a reality, thanks to Scottish researchers. They have created a flexible plastic membrane that can be put on a contact lens, and can shoot a laser beam when it’s hit with a laser beam itself.
OK, so it’s not quite X-Men level yet. But researchers say the technology could be used for identification and security purposes, kind of like a personal bar code. Which isn’t creepy at all.
A comics thief tried to slip a [unintelligible amount of foreign currency] copy of the X-Men Omnibus into his bag in an Australian comic book store. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for his irrational fear of friendly neighborhood Spider-Men.
The Spider-Man in question was actually mild-mannered comic store owner, Michael Baulderstone, who cannot actually weave a web anytime, yet still captured the unidentified thief just like a fly.
A gaggle of Jedi Knights blocked the door to prevent any escape, presumably via pumpkin bombing, and The Flash stood uselessly by. (Seriously, how often do you need a running guy?)
Police arrived on scene to haul the robber in. They did not have a key to the city to present at the time.
So, I’ve got good news and bad news.
The good news is that the latest Hugh Jackman vehicle, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, is light-years better than the last X-men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand.
The bad news? That’s akin to saying the flu is better than lung cancer.
Delve inside to find out what the jury wants to say about the movie. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’
Dear Dr. Snee,
I have a 12-year-old son who has recently started spending a lot of time in the bathroom. A lot of time. When I ask him what he’s doing, he refuses to look me in the eye and says that he “was just, you know, going to the bathroom.” As a mother, I’d like to believe him, but what kind of kid goes to the bathroom three times in one hour?! What should I do?
12-years-old, eh? Inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, you say? No complete sentences in this medical advice column yet? Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: A pregnant pause