The McBournie Minute: The ‘Star Wars’ franchise is overrated

When I was in sixth grade, my friend Michael explained to me that there were supposed to be more than just three Star Wars movies. His uncle worked at Industrial Lights and Magic, and was involved in the animation of the light sabers and blasters. He explained that the reason the original (and then, the only) trilogy had episode titles was that George Lucas had a master plan for trilogies to take place before and after the movies we knew.

Less than a decade later, the world had three new Star Wars films to enjoy. They weren’t worth the wait, but that didn’t stop fans from keeping up their appetites for more. When The Phantom Menace was released, everyone hoped the next one would be better, then they hoped the third one would be the prequel they had dreamed of. It didn’t happen that way.

Perhaps it’s time we stop getting so excited about Star Wars. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The ‘Star Wars’ franchise is overrated

The McBournie Minute: Movies aren’t good anymore

One summer when I was in college, I figured out a way to game my local movie theater. I had a book of coupons worth more $1 more than the price of admission on certain days. The theater was actually paying me a $1 to go see movies, so I saw a lot. And it was generally a good time, because I was otherwise pretty bored and didn’t mind taking a chance on a movie because it was free.

I even saw one of the Fast and the Furious sequels voluntarily, and I’m a fan of acting and plot. I walked out of the theater shrugging my shoulders, rather than pissed off at myself for going to see it. I didn’t really have expectations about films back then.

I don’t feel that way now and haven’t for a long time. Maybe I just don’t like previews anymore. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Movies aren’t good anymore

Worst. Comics thief. Ever

A comics thief tried to slip a [unintelligible amount of foreign currency] copy of the X-Men Omnibus into his bag in an Australian comic book store. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for his irrational fear of friendly neighborhood Spider-Men.

The Spider-Man in question was actually mild-mannered comic store owner, Michael Baulderstone, who cannot actually weave a web anytime, yet still captured the unidentified thief just like a fly.

A gaggle of Jedi Knights blocked the door to prevent any escape, presumably via pumpkin bombing, and The Flash stood uselessly by. (Seriously, how often do you need a running guy?)

Police arrived on scene to haul the robber in. They did not have a key to the city to present at the time.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’

So, I’ve got good news and bad news.

The good news is that the latest Hugh Jackman vehicle, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, is light-years better than the last X-men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand.

The bad news? That’s akin to saying the flu is better than lung cancer.

Delve inside to find out what the jury wants to say about the movie. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’

Ask Dr. Snee: A pregnant pause

What lurks below?Dear Dr. Snee,

I have a 12-year-old son who has recently started spending a lot of time in the bathroom. A lot of time. When I ask him what he’s doing, he refuses to look me in the eye and says that he “was just, you know, going to the bathroom.” As a mother, I’d like to believe him, but what kind of kid goes to the bathroom three times in one hour?! What should I do?

–Potty-pooper

12-years-old, eh? Inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, you say? No complete sentences in this medical advice column yet? Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: A pregnant pause