Coke hides better when it’s all hidden

In MORE cocaine-related news

Carlos Valenzuela was driving around Texas the other day, minding his own business, when he forgot to signal a turn at an intersection. For this minor oversight, he was pulled over, and should have got off with a warning/ticket.

That’s how the story would’ve ended if he hadn’t had three giant bricks of cocaine inside his car, two of which were hidden inside an Xbox 360 console. The third was lying in the passenger seat. Whoops.

He was caught with 1.8 kilograms of cocaine, and has been charged with “manufacture or delivery of a controlled substance”.

Now, I’m not a drug czar or drug kingpin or a drug magnate or even a drug janitor; however, I’d think that if you’re going to transport that much nose candy, you’d at least do a really good job of hiding ALL of the drugs, much less being meticulously aware of how you’re driving.

Apple not in the pesticide business … yet

This time it isn’t an employee falling off a roof or out of a window. This time, it’s pesticide.

Foxconn, the world’s largest manufacturer of electronics, is responsible for assembling the Xbox 360, the PS3, the Wii, the iPhone and more. Another thing it’s famous for: the death of its employees by suicide, along with “alleged” pressuring by industry giants regarding their products.

After 250 workers at the company’s Chennai, India plant were hospitalized, Foxconn had no choice but to shut the facility down. Workers experienced what has been described as “sensations of giddiness and nausea”. According to Foxconn, this “may have been caused by the routine spraying of pesticide at the production facility.” Whoops.

Out of the 250 hospitalized workers, 28 are still in the hospital. The plant is responsible for mobile phone parts.

For Bryan McBournie, it might be more prudent to exclaim, “Where Is Your Clean Air Now?”

Parenting is not its own reward

It’s said that crime does not pay, but this may now be otherwise. A man was able to nab not one, but two Xbox 360s from a Beavercreek, Ohio Best Buy while carrying a diaper bag and a real live baby.

The man, described as 6ft, 250 pounds and balding, grabbed two consoles and left with them under his arm while carrying the child. He then got into his Kia Spectra and sped off, allegedly without even securing the baby in its seat. Although on the surface this looks like bad parenting, we can’t rule out the fact that the baby was in on the scam, mind you possibly the brains of the entire operation.

Not having children and pawning off any duties involving my younger brother when he was growing up onto my parents, that’s gotta be one big diaper bag.

Get’cher own piece o’history, right’chere!

Want to own a piece of Baltimore history, a bit of gaming that helped unseat a mayor of the east coast city?

The city of Baltimore is auctioning off an Xbox 360 that prosecutors say then-mayor Sheila Dixon purchased with gift cards meant for the poor. For shame. And just how many gift cards does it take to make a purchase like that?

The Xbox 360, a single controller and copy of Need for Speed Carbon, are up for bid on eBay right now, with the price now moving at $650 (as of writing this post). Proceeds from the sale will go to Youthworks of Baltimore. The 360 was seized from Dixon’s home in 2008 after allegations of embezzlement surfaced against the mayor. A jury later found Dixon guilty and she resigned from office on February 4 of that year and was ordered to perform 500 hours of community service.

She also had to give up the Xbox 360.

IT’S A CONSPIRACY!

I’ve gotta say, it must be fun to work in Microsoft’s legal department. Personally, I tend to gauge whether my day is enjoyable by whether it was busy or slow, and more often than, unfortunately, my days at work are very slow. Not so much over in Redmond, it seems. It appears to never be a dull day, though whether the majority of what they have to deal with are credible or crackpot, we’ll not know. We do know one thing, however: this lawsuit is of the latter characteristic.

Microsoft is being sued yet again for allegedly knowingly selling, and profiting off of, defective products. Up to bat is a fine gentleman from Oak Forest, Illinois, who had to pay $99 to get his X-box 360 fixed. Surprisingly, though, this time, though, it seems the Red Ring of Death is not to blame. Unfortunately, the plaintiff doesn’t know exactly what’s wrong with his system, because Microsoft refused to tell him.

The unnamed plaintiff is hoping for a class-action suit, along with monetary damages (of course) and for Microsoft to stop selling 360s until they fix their hardware issues. Yeah, which of those things do you think is a bit more possible than the other?

I wouldn’t automatically accuse Microsoft of purposefully making broken hardware, because I don’t think any major company would intentionally put out a defective product, but the failure rate of their consoles has been incredibly questionable. Whether it was simply a rush job, a lack of oversight, or something totally beyond their control, who knows, but whatever it is, a total injunction against selling the system is no way to correct the problem.

Canada still hasn’t had any real crime yet

On this past Sunday in Southern Ontario, Canada in a small city called Mississauga, a guy (or a few guys) decided they’d like to have some Xbox 360’s–a lot of them, truth told. Around 4:00 in the morning, a truck containing roughly 1,300 of the consoles was stolen from a trailer yard.

The security guard on duty was found bound and stuck under a nearby trailer. We’re pretty sure he’s been fired by now. But probably in a nice way, since it happened in Canada.

The value of the theft? Ballparking figures around US$670,000. Yeah, we were kind of hoping it would be worth more, too.

Woman getting hit in the face with taco not nearly as sexy as you might think

There are days when the news is good and there are days when the news is good. I’m hoping that this might fall into the latter for you all.

A young man from Deltona is currently sitting in jail after police say he assaulted his mother with a taco. According to reports, 54-year-old Dena Moir turned her 19-year-old son’s Xbox 360 off, and he threw the Mexican snack in her face, making sure to also call her, and I quote,

“a retard.”

But wait-there’s more.

According to police, the trouble started when young Zachery refused to come downstairs for dinner, despite being called a number of times. In an act of brave discipline, Dena marched upstairs and turned the Xbox off, only for Zachery to shove her angrily and order her out of the room.

A little later, Dena was cleaning the kitchen when her son came down to eat. Deciding she was in the way, Zach pushed his mother again, before smacking her on the arm and throwing the Mexi-missile with vengeance. This is also when he called her, and I quote again,

“a retard.”

Zachery Moir is now being held without bail at Volusia County Branch Jail, on charges of domestic violence battery. As he should be. Not only that, but Mom won’t take jailhouse phone calls from her alleged Xbox taco assailant son.

The moral of the story: if you act like a douchebag, you’ll get what you deserve. Hopefully.

Gimme!

What monopolistic giant Microsoft wants, monopolistic giant Microsoft gets. And what does it want? It wants its remaining unsold stock of Xbox 360 related paraphernalia back. And it wants it back NOW.

Really. It wants the back stock so badly that the software mammoth is willing to sue Woolworths’, the British retailer that closed all of its doors today.

OK, in all actuality, Microsoft and entertainment company EMI are beginning to sue Deloitte, the administrators of Woolworths’ rotting corpse. To put it plainly, as an administrator, Deloitte would be expecting to make a quick buck selling off Woolworths remaining inventory at crazy prices. Including those 360 consoles.

To prevent this from happening, Microsoft and EMI are going to argue that, under Britain’s “retention of title” rules, because Woolworths are on their way out and either haven’t paid for the consoles or owe Microsoft money, they can seize back the consoles.

Somebody get the popcorn.

The McBournie Minute: Early adoption always a bad idea

There are a lot of people out there that just have to have the latest and greatest thing. They have to have the coolest new gadgets as soon as they are willing to wait in line for hours just to be among the first to get it. These people have never really made that much sense to me.

It just doesn’t pay to be an early adopter. Remember everyone who bought the first copies of Windows Vista? Aside from all of the bugs that have been mostly fixed in the past year, have you heard anyone who actually likes the operating system? Even so, Microsoft announced last week it would take the unprecedented step of slashing prices on versions of Vista. This means that if you waited, you could get the same OS for less cash. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Early adoption always a bad idea