Meanwhile, your tuition went up

Most universities in the U.S. are storied institutions with a legacy of shaping young minds to create the world we know today. And if there’s one thing that could destroy their reputations, it’s using their name for a porn site.

Schools like the University of Kansas are buying up .xxx domains before pornographers can create rockchalkjayhawk.xxx and jayhawks.xxx. This is a security concern because people interested in UK could accidentally type in the universally-agreed upon porn abbreviation instead of .edu — and wind up at tits instead. They also bought kansas.xxx, because they want to keep the address porn-free, which will save the owners of

  • kansas.com: The Wichita Eagle, a newspaper
  • kansas.gov: The Official Web site of the State of Kansas
  • kansas.net: Based on the quality of their page, some ’90s-era Internet provider

from having to buy it themselves. (The University of Missouri did the same thing with missouri.xxx, proving that neither state has anything going for it but college basketball.) Unfortunately, nobody bothered to buy .org or .biz, so smut peddlers, get on it!

Downloadin’ a PETA ass

Ahoy, mateys! Everyone knows a pirate’s best friend on a long voyage be his right hand, unless it’s a hook and then it’s the left. To cash in on this, PETA will be launching a pornographic Web site once the .xxx domain be available come Decemberrrr.

The site will feature buxom lasses doing wenchy things, followed by graphic footage of animal abuse. The Guys think this be a fine plan, PETA, if ye goal be to train the next generation of Internet masturrrrbators to maintain erections during animal suffering.

(Special thanks to ye, Nyssa 23!)