Animals become endangerous

Just when we think we’re reaching a stable point in the War on Animals, nature finds a way to change the entire game. They’re now using our own government–in this case, the U.S. fish and Wildlife Service–as a human shield.

Knowing our hesitance to open fire on endangered species, the animals are now recruiting whales and bison to conduct suicide bombings around the world. The bastards!

You know what this means, warriors: we need the Japanese.

Wonder if they heard water?

The symbolism is there. You know you think about it when you see Old Faithful erupt, you can’t help but think about it. Well, not that, the other thing–peeing.

Two seasonal workers at Yellowstone National Park got in trouble for peeing into the famous geyser. The act was caught on the webcam available to the public that broadcasts Old Faithful. One employee was fined, fired and put on probation, the other is still awaiting his sentence. This is a clear reminder of the Ozzy Osbourne law: Don’t pee on national treasures.

For the first time Old Faithful spouted yellow.