Injecting yourself with poo a bad idea, doctors warn

Folks, here’s a reminder for you: don’t inject yourself with poo, be it your own or someone else’s. We know you, dear reader, already know that, but you may want to tell your dumb friends.

Doctors are concerned about a new trend of people injecting themselves with poo. People on YouTube are blending up poo (hopefully then throwing out their blender) and giving themselves enemas. There are even web sites set up to connect donors with poo recipients.

Doctors do fecal transplants for treatment of certain illnesses, so why can’t you do it at home? Aside from being super gross, there’s no screening of the poo, so there’s a decent chance that you’re injecting yourself with microbes that can lead to serious deadly health problems.

So once again, ask your doctor if blending poo and then putting it in your own butt is right for you. Perhaps our own Dr. Snee can help.

The McBournie Minute: Still don’t get the “Harlem Shake”

The Internet has made a lot of important things happen, this blog is by no means at the bottom of that list, as I am sure you will all agree. I would put it somewhere below the Arab Spring and cat videos in terms of benefits to humanity. There have been countless interactions, collaborations and inventions that have come about simply because we built ourselves a system that allows our computers to talk to each other.

And then there’s the Harlem Shake videos. A few weeks ago, some artist named Baauer released a song that became an inexplicably big hit. It’s been at the top of the charts for quite a while, both in the U.S. and abroad. It’s really gotten big because it’s now a YouTube trend.

Even if you’ve been trying to avoid it, you know what I’m talking about. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Still don’t get the “Harlem Shake”

The internet has cats on the brain

Google, in all of its infinite wisdom (and money), decided that it would be a smart idea to see what Google would do if it was a person on the internet.

So, with the power of 16 thousand computers, Google did that very thing, simulating a brain to test the act. What did this Google e-homunculus do?

It went to Youtube and searched for cats.

Japan hates Youtube people

It’s easy to shorthand Japan as “Crazy Japan,” mainly because it’s fairly accurate most of the time. But every so often Glorious Nippon severely tests that “Glorious” part, and prove the characterization spot-on. This is one of those times.

Japan’s government has just passed a law that would outlaw the act of “ripping” copyrighted material of any kind to users’ computers, and the knowing downloading of such material from any internet source. Naturally, this is targeted towards folks who record TV shows and DVDs/Blu-rays for sharing, archiving, and of course piracy. That part of the law is a good thing. Punishment ranges from hefty fines to jail time. The law goes into effect this October.

But wait, there’s more.

The broad, vague wording of the law opens the potential to prosecute users with the temerity to view copyrighted material on such innocuous sites as Youtube, because those sites upload data to users’ computers. And it potentially covers international viewers of Japanese copyrighted material. What’s more, analysts suggest that the law could be used to suppress material that the government finds uncomfortable.

This bears all the hallmarks of a law written by fearful companies and legislators who would rather destroy that which they don’t understand and can’t adapt to. Of course, natural challenges over enforcement, scope and freedom of speech will rise up, but truthfully, it doesn’t seem really feasible that the Japanese public will muster the kind of intense resistance that Americans raised over SOPA and PIPA.

Prove me wrong, Japan. Prove me wrong.

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be IT professionals

A country-ass “IT professional” dad, Tommy Jordan, was shocked — shocked — that his teenage daughter posted something bitchy about her family to her friends on Facebook. So, taking a page from Dr. Spock, he took her laptop to a field and recorded a YouTube video of himself reading her post, responding to it, grounding her and then emptying his .45’s clip into said laptop for her — and we quote — “childish behavior.”

He then posted that video to her Facebook wall, from which she is grounded. (He said it was a message to her friends, who we’re sure will respond in equally mature fashion.)

That’ll teach her to be a teenager.

Since then,  “Mr.” Jordan has declined any and all interviews, saying that he can’t believe people would view what he publicly posted, respond and criticize him on television.

The internet loves your mistakes

It’s often been said that we should dance as if no one’s looking. This is a stupid piece of advice, as in this day and age, everyone is watching you, especially if you’re connected to the internet in some form of fashion. To run with that point, it’s been said to never be fully tuned out of your environment. This is a genius piece of advice, as it’s important to be aware of your surroundings, as once again, in this day and age, everyone is watching, whether or not you’re connected to the internet in some form of fashion.

After all, no one knows when you might be the next double rainbow.

(Courtesy of Liz)

This guy will end up as President

INTERNET RAGE!!!!!!!11111

That’s apparently what was felt all across the massive series of pipes and tubes recently when a young man purchased an iPad on Saturday, destroyed the item with a baseball and then put up video of him doing so on YouTube. Is Justin Kockott a man that feels great vitriol for Apple, much like our own Bryan McBournie?


“I wanted to be the first one to do it before other people did it,” Kockott told the newspaper.

“It was just something to do.”

Oh, don’t mind that thunderclap-like sound, as it’s just me slapping my palm against my face. Well, at the very least, he’s probably seen the videos of popular stuff being broken, as where else would he get the idea to do so? As such, he had to have known that such an act may see a bit of … overzealous behavior from the Mac faithful for his video, right?

“I knew some people would hate it, but I didn’t think that many people would hate it,” he said.

“A lot of people are leaving really bad comments (in the YouTube comments section).”

And my younger brother wonders why I tend to complain about teenagers. As the resident Apple user at SG (note: I need more pretentious berets and black clothing in my wardrobe), I suppose that I should feel slightly angered toward him for doing such a thing-but really, I can’t. This sort of thing has been happening for year with almost every new piece of technology as soon as it comes out. What am I supposed to feel? I think a better question is where has a 19 year old managed to get at least 1500 dollars in order to afford three iPads? I certainly never had that type of money at his age. Heck, I don’t have that lean green now! Anybody wanna spare a dime for a brother in need?

Great, more cats playing music

If there is one place that the enemy is using for propaganda, it’s the Internet. YA RLY. Instead of focusing on the important issues like defeating the enemy, they try to keep us laughing, all the while leaving our guard down, exposed to an attack from any direction.

We know have a new threat of distraction: a cat that plays the piano. The cat’s name is Nora, she lives in Philadelphia. She plays when she wants, she doesn’t like certain people, and she enjoys Billy Joel. In other words, she’s a green helmet away from being a stereotypical Philadelphian.

She’s taking YouTube by storm and she doesn’t have the brain power to understand what that means. Whatever you do, do not watch her videos.

Play her off, keyboard cat!

You Missed It: Unofficial beginning of summer edition

I know you’re not reading this. You, just like everyone else, have already left the office, packed up the ol’ station wagon and headed out for your Memorial Day Weekend adventure. You probably won’t even read this until we’re back on Tuesday. I don’t care. It’s my job to write these things, and I know you’re going to miss this all weekend. If you were busy chasing down historical artifacts that come to life at night, odds are you missed it.

When you think ‘hip’ you think of the Vatican
Pope Benedict XVI wants to be your friend. Well, not really, he’s got plenty already. They’re called followers, and not the Twitter kind. But the pope is trying to save your soul with a new Facebook app. Our cool pope even has an iPhone app with the latest pope-related news, a YouTube channel, and a Catholic wiki. Just in time for World Communications day, His Holiness launched a website (where “Pope” is capitalized, but “you” aren’t). The Facebook app lets you keep in touch with the Holy See through the wonders of social networking. Now Pope Benedict can send you messages like “I know what site you’re planning on going to after this. See you in confession tomorrow.”

Helps make sure they still have the Right Stuff
Sure, Atlantis may have been grabbing the headlines last week, but the crew of the International Space Station is laying the headline smackdown this week. Fixing space telescopes? Please. These astronauts get to drink recycled water that came from their own pee. (Wait–what?!) Every six hours, an astronaut produces about a gallon of water from their urine. It gets recycled and purified and presto! Good to drink again. There was a time when I wanted to be an astronaut. Today, I am pleased that that dream never came true.

Also, Count Duckula’s new album drops next Tuesday
Danger Mouse (the DJ in Gnarles Barkley, not the eyepatch-sporting cartoon) has made a career out of doing strange things. First, he mashed up the Beatles with Jay-Z, then he produced that horrible Gorillaz album. Now, he’s dropping a new album. There’s just one thing, the album is not on the CD being sold. Sure, you get the case, insert, all that good stuff, but the CD is blank. In fact, it’s a CD-R. Danger Mouse wants you to buy his album, then illegally download it, burn it to the CD, then enjoy. Because, you know, that makes way more sense than just illegally downloading it and put it on your iPod.

Another day, another Hitler headline

Adolf Hitler, the dead dictator of Deutchlund (that’s alliteration, Kyle), has made yet another headline this week, this time through Fox News’ pressing coverage of YouTube fads.

For the uninitiated, a YouTube fad is a joke that other people imitate for about 2 days, and then promptly becomes unfunny when Fox News covers it as News.

Users are posting footage of the mustachioed, megalomaniacal mastermind of mass murder (boo-yah) yelling at underlings in the 2004 movie, Downfall, with new subtitles about why he’s pissed:

Of course, it wouldn’t be a news report about a fleeting cultural phenomenon on Fox unless somebody was offended. A group representing Holocaust survivors has objected to at least one video in which the balmy Bavarian bratwurst-eschewing bomb-dodger has trouble finding parking in Tel Aviv, Israel.

To be honest, you’d probably have to be Jewish to get that one, anyway.