A few years ago, we told you that some bugs are doing it wrong.
Now, science is telling us that for the sake of evolution, maybe they’re doing it right. We’re not sure if this means that making fudge is the proper way for storks to drop babies down chimneys, but we do know one thing: the more godless hybrid abominations that are created through horrid elephant on (literally) minotaur copulation, the more demonic hellbeasts that we have to stop. Which may or may not be a good thing.
Oh, you thought we were done with the animal news earlier? My friend, those that would attempt to harm the human race come in more than just the carnivore flavor.
A creation of mankind (because the donkey and the zebra sure as shoot ain’t gonna breed themselves), the zonkey, decided to rear its ugly head and take a bite out of crime.
And by crime, I mean the foot of painter James Oleson. Which actually makes the hybrid beast the criminal. Why did it do so? Probably because it’s an animal and would kill you if it had the chance.
Of course, we’re not done yet. A New China restaurant in Middletown, Pennsylvania, had to close for the day because a male deer jumped through the window, leaving many biohazards in the eatery and damaging valuable equipment. Sadly, this is not the first time that this has happened to the restaurant (premeditated assault, anyone?). Luckily though, no one was inside.
There is some good news for that story.
The deer did not survive the ordeal. Middletown police shot and killed the animal.
Police indeed found the deer and delivered the most beautiful form of justice possible-that of the swift variety.
