Take it from Snee: Seriously business

If you work, then you’ve seen them: motivational posters. Like most propaganda, they use simple slogans and mind-searing images to raise your work level to Glorious Benefit for Behalf Father Company.

As a technical writer, I can’t help but notice that either:

A) Somebody didn’t realize what they were writing at the time.

B) Yes, they did.

C) Some combination of A and B where the powers that be noticed that an innocent slogan has a double-meaning, like eighth graders laughing at “penal code.”

So, let’s jump right in! Don’t forget to persevere through innovation outside the box on the way!

The favorite poster boy of business has to be Lance Armstrong:

  1. He always does whatever it takes to win, even refuse a polygraph.
  2. He always comes in to work, even on days when he only has one testicle.
  3. He requires corporate sponsorship to do what he loves.

Remember: Lance doesn’t win races for America. He wins them for Federal Express, which then uses those publicity earnings to drive the U.S. Postal Service out of business.

(I guess I’m saying that Lance Armstrong is bad? But, he has cancer, so don’t tell him I said that. I’d hate for those to be the last words he hears.)

On the other side: golf metaphors.

These exist purely to convince employees that executives are working as hard as they are, just on the links.

And finally, there are the unintentionally high standards:

All I’m saying is that, in the end, does it really matter where our propaganda comes from? Whether it’s from the North Koreans or Blackwater, the point is the same: if you’re reading this, GET BACK TO WORK!

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