Take it from Snee: There’s no challenge here

This week, I’m gonna do something a little different. Rather than just spout off about the news, I’m going to give you, the readers, a chance to hang up here in the white space of the column with the big dogs.

On December 18, 2009, I issued a challenge to those of you who were angry at my article, “Tattoo discrimination? In the U.S.?!” The rules were simple:

1) If you can show me one (1) photograph that proves there is a non-tattooed prisoner on Death Row, I will get a tattoo, and I will publish it on this site and on yours.

2) The inmate doesn’t have to currently serve on Death Row, but the photo should be somewhat recent, no earlier than 1980. (In other words, don’t bother submitting clean-cut Depression-era murderers and rapists.)

That proved too hard for you. It’s OK; your tattoos probably got you rejected from all of the good schools (::eye roll::).

So, I simplified the rules:

3) I will accept a letter from a reliable source, like from a prison warden or coroner, in lieu of a photograph.

After that simplification — where one would only need to visit, write, call, or email a prison — you would think that someone, anyone, among you sad souls would follow through on this.

Instead, I received this:

JoCrazy:
http://crime.about.com/od/deathrow/p/syriani.htm

This may not show a full body picture Rick, but if you can prove that this man had a tattoo anywhere on his body I will thoroughly apologize. Good luck picking your tattoo. And, not a rundown Rick, but try to be nicer, education is such a pretty word and such a terrible thig to waste. Whe you use education to dismiss and hurt others you really are hurting yourself. While you might not care what others think about you, remember that it is only because of other people that you have a job and your precious education is worth anything. Including all that money you spent on it.

That’s right: not only is it a link with only a headshot, but it’s based on a racist assumption.

The executed inmate in question is Elias Syriani, a Jordanian immigrant, who killed his wife for violating his traditional Arab wishes for a divorce. So the assumption is that, under Sharia Law, he’d never get a tattoo, right?

Absolutely …. Except Syriani was neither a Sharia-practitioner nor even a ####ing Muslim. The article this moron sent me explicitly says that he and his wife “were Assyrian Christians.” Sorry, JoCrazy, but not all people of Arabic decent who kill their wives are Muslim, and — even so — not all Muslims are wife-murdering Taliban-flunkies.

So, way to lecture me about tolerance about other cultures (tattooed people are not a culture, no matter what their “tribal” ink claims) and insult a real one.

I’d post more of JoCrazy comments, but rest assured that nothing further of substance was submitted, which says a lot considering what little this person tried to submit.

For the next couple of months, I received more useless responses from people who submitted nothing but wanted to pick out tattoos for me. Sounds like the definition of a welfare culture to me, “Give me what I want for no work whatsoever,” so maybe there is a tattoo culture after all.

But then, this weekend, I saw a new comment and got nervous. Would I have to defile my soft, alabaster skin with needle-scribblings?

tattoo lover:
hey in reference to Rick Snee on December 18th, 2008 10:13 am kenny richey was on death row for over 20 years, has anyone ever seen any tattoo’s on him, nope cos he has none, he was on death row for longer than probably anyone else ever has, and was only released early last year, i love tattoos i have 3 right now, i have my daughters names on my forearms and a star with my oldest daughters date of birth underneath it on my neck, and ive already got another 7 more planned, thankfully i live in scotland and if any employer refused someone a job because of a tattoo then they would get fined a hell of a lot of money, i dont think i ever even heard of anyone in scotland being refused a job due to having a tattoo, ive only ever had compliments about my tattoos from young people and old, well respected people and loads more, im actually a teacher in a primary school for 5-11 year olds and i started there after i got my tattoo, and all 3 are always visible, respect for your fellow being rick snee its the best form of decency homosapiens can deliver, oh and you owe us all a tattoo, we want to see this, i think we should all get to decide what you get and where you have to get it, we’ll give you the respect you deserve honestly.

Not even a link.

But, you know, that’s OK. After reading the comment, I realized this poor Scottish gym teacher could barely write, so I figured I’d help a Special Commenter out. I read about Kenny Richey, and found nothing conclusive.

So, there’s no physical or anecdotal evidence in this comment or online that he has no tattoo, which is probably why there was no link, so what did tattoo lover use for logic? That Richey “was on death row for longer than probably anyone else ever has.”

He doesn’t have a tattoo … because he was on death row for a really long time. Is there a math equation I haven’t heard of? It’s very possible since I wasn’t the best algebra student.

So, nice try, tattoo lover, but without research, you don’t get to pick my tattoo that I refuse to get … maybe because I’m going to spend a long time in death row.

The sad part is that this is apparently the best you all can do. To date, all of you have proved that, while you will whine about the perceived unfairness of your life, you will do nothing to actually remedy that situation. You’d rather just complain to me, rather than meet a fairly easy challenge.

Really, there’s no challenge here at all.