Take the flip-flops off and nobody gets hurt

The latest National Foot Health Assessment (we know you await this every year) says that “78 percent of adults 21 and over experienced one or more foot problems in their lives.” And, it’s mostly because of flip-flops. No, not from injuries resulting from politicians changing their stances. We mean flip-flops, the shoes. Sandals. Slippers. Thongs. Toesplitters. The bare minimum to meet the “shoes” requirement for service.

Experts on feet and flip-flops are divided on this health issue. Podiatrists point to flip-flops having no arch or heel support, toe coverage, consistent flex-points, which leads to injuries. Flip-flop sellers, however, point out that these are all sacrifices made to feeling footloose and fancy-free (even in dress sandals). They both agree, however, that they should never be worn with socks.

What the article fails to mention are how many people are assaulted every year with “accidentally” kicked-off flip-flops, particularly from off-duty drum majors and Deion Sanders. Clench those toes, people, or put on a pair of Crocs like the trash you are.