The Catholic Church locked in battle with zombies

Anyone who has ever been to Toledo, Spain knows that the city is littered with zombies, or as the locals call them “el zombieos.”

But after all this time, only now has the Catholic Church caught up on this danger to humanity. A parade featuring zombies, ghosts and other scary creatures has been deemed a blaspheme. The world media would have you believe that it was just some local actors parading down the street to mock the local celebration of Corpus Christi, a Catholic holiday, but we know better.

Sure, Reuters. Sure, it was just some actors dressed up and bent on offending the Church. That makes far more sense than the fact that it was a bold statement of power on the zombies’ part and only the pulpit sees fit to fight it, as it has so many other evils. Open your eyes!