The McBournie Minute: Desire smells like that to some people

Was your Valentine’s Day a little lacking? Are you just not happy with the tie you got this year? It’s time to return your cheap-o gift and get something you really want-body spray that smells like a burger from Burger King.

That’s right, with Flame, the new scent from BK, you can now make her mouth water just by walking into the room–bet that stopped happening after a month or so. Best of all, you can have it your way.

This got me thinking, what kinds of things would I like a woman to smell like? Clearly, they have never consulted us on this matter, because everything they wear smells like potpourri and aftershave. On top of that they wear deodorant that claims to have the power of platinum, which is one of the weakest metals known.

Here are some things I want my woman to smell like:

Mary Jane
Let’s face it, in the world of super heroes, there’s really only one guy worth caring about. He doesn’t have laser vision, he can’t fly, he’s not bulletproof and he doesn’t have millions of dollars. Spider-Man is cool because he’s a regular guy who wants to do the right thing since he has the ability to stick to walls and know-how to make web fluid. I don’t want to smell like web fluid, mind you. There’s something a little gay about that. No, I want to smell like courage and snide remarks aimed at ever-doers. So that means I want my woman to smell like Spider-Man’s girlfriend. It would probably end up being something flowery, if you read the early stuff.

ESPN: The Scent
They have to have someone on this, they have every over marketing ploy out there in their quest for Wide Wide World of Sports Domination.

Whiskey
Anyone who knows me is not shocked by this one. My brand of choice is Jack Daniel’s, but I understand that there is a recession on, so I can make do with Old Grand Dad. The point is, I want my lady to smell like something I can’t keep away from. I want her to smell like fond memories and nights of rambling on and on about how great the Irish are or how my friends really need to stop controlling my life. As with most men, you wear Old No. 7 and I will always want more.