The McBournie Minute: Drink and screw like a champion today

As some of you may have heard they just held the Winter Olympics in Vancouver (the one in Canada). You probably heard about all the controversies, triumphs and manufactured story lines NBC could come up with. Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with that.

What I am here to talk to you about is drinking and screwing–Olympic style. You may not know it, they certainly don’t talk about it on television, but the Olympic village is one big romp. This is true. Apparently, a bunch of slender, fit, hormone-crazed people under the age of 27 mate like crazy, possibly in hopes of creating a master Olympic race, possibly because accents are so sexy.

But in Vancouver, the love was not restricted to the confines of the Olympic village. It made its way out to the public, too.

A record 100,000 condoms were distributed by the British Columbia Centre (Canadians spell suffixes backwards just for kicks sometimes) for Disease Control at the Olympics, and this doesn’t just mean to athletes, support staff and the public were allowed to get in on the action, too. Assuming a lot of people brought their own along with them, that’s pretty impressive.

Supplies ran low during the games, so the Canadian Foundation for AIDS Research sent an emergency supply of 8,500 more rubbers to the games. In all, it was a new record for condoms given out at any Winter Olympiad since they began distributing them in 1992. This is just a hunch, but Rio de Janeiro will probably break the record for that in Summer Olympics when the games head there in 2016.

In likely related news, apparently Canadians like beer. Yes, this may come as a shock to many of you, but it seems to be true. Sure we all saw the pictures of the Canadian women’s hockey team drinking, smoking and Zamboni-riding in their gold medal celebration (the men’s team did not have such a celebration, as Title 9 took away all of their beer/cigar funds and gave them to the women), but what about the revelers walking through Vancouver, enjoying its mass transit and working their way to gold by emptying every bottle in the city?

According to journalists at the Vancouver games, it was a party like none other. Even the foreigners enjoyed the strong Canadian beer. As a Time reporter put it, the Vancouver was the “drunkest Olympics ever.”

“I’ve personally witnessed about 8 to 10 guys whizzing at once along a fence half a block off the main street,”one reporter said in the article. “It’s like the infield at the Kentucky Derby.”

That said, The Guys will see you in London in 2012!