The McBournie Minute: History That Happened in the Past (1990-1999)

For the U.S. the 1990s was a time of relative peace. To borrow from Dickens, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was a time of oral sex in executive buildings and clear colas. It was a time of grunge and it was a time of Hanson. It was a time of the wild west Internet and it was a time of Y2K fears.

History looks back on the 1990s as yet another decade of self-indulgence. It marked for many the hastening of corporations to catch on to and exploit new trends with the youth, and it was also when gold rimmed glasses were in fashion (I should know). In comparison to the troubles found before and after it, the 1990s seem almost like a party–a party where you have to wear your pants baggy.

Grab your Tamagotchi and hit the jump.

We won the Cold War. There, that’s about it.

Wait, you want more? OK. The USSR split up and Russia became a capitalist democracy. This ensured that world peace would last forever and ever. Germany reunited, and we have had our eye on them ever since. We adopted the Kyoto Protocol, then set about ignoring it as best as we could. We beat Saddam Hussein once and for all. We began building the International Space Station and planned to have it done in a couple years. Leonard Bernstein.

After a couple years with George Bush serving as president, America decided it wanted to see a more animated, frat-guy-like president. America found Bill Clinton. The Clinton years were marked by scandal, jokes, the Republicans taking control of Congress, and worst of all, the rise of Hillary Clinton before she started plucking her eyebrows.

The sound of steel rain began to fill the air as more and more households logged on to “the Internet,” what we now know as the “Series of Tubes.” The Internet of the 1990s was a place for knowledge like never before. You could find animated gifs of just about any cartoon animal you chose and it was hilarious. We just didn’t know any better back then. We got to download music left and right without fear of prosecution, and we got to look at pictures of naked people whenever we wanted to. Guess which one of those still remains.

In a related method, the Internet changed how people interacted with each other. For the first time, they could send “electronic mail” on free accounts their offices didn’t read, and they could send “instant messages” or talk in “chat rooms.” After a while, we all figured out the rest of the people in the world are as boring as the people we knew in real life. Humanity’s hopes were crushed.

Americans began getting their news from a 24-hour cable news network called “CNN.” To this day, no one knows what the letters stand for. When CNN first went on the air, people said it wouldn’t work, that there was no need for an all-news-all-the-time approach. They were right. Very, very right.

Notable births

  • Average girl Miley Cyrus
  • Teen pop sensation Hannah Montana
  • Actress Emma Watson
  • Rapper Soulja Boy
  • Child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey (too soon?)