We are a week into March, and of course, you are seeing all sorts of television specials and public announcements about the important contributions Irish-Americans have made to this great country of ours (or maybe The Man doesn’t want to appreciate the sons of Erin). That is of course, because I called for an Irish History Month last week, and President Barack O’Bama heard me. He declared March Irish-American Heritage Month (this year only), something John F. Kennedy never did, making O’Bama the most Irish president we have ever had.
March is often known as the most Irish of all the months, because things start turning green again, and well, the Irish liked to rise up against the English a lot this time of year. The month is filled with famous Irish holidays that are known for the traditional getting crocked out of one’s gourd, like St. Patrick’s Day, Daylight Saving Time, and My Friend Alex’s Bachelor Party.
Let’s look back now on just a few of the vital roles the Irish have played in shaping the U.S.
Railroads. In post-Civil War America, slavery was illegal, but cheap labor was desperately needed. Luckily for America, the Irish were coming ashore in droves because they heard a rumor about there being more whiskey on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. There was, as the U.S. was the drinkingest nation in the world back then (true!), but the Irish weren’t going to enjoy it, because they were supposed to build railroads in the east while the Chinese built them in the west. They did this, and were looked down on by racist white America the same as any Asian- or African-American, even though they technically came from the U.K. To exact revenge, more than a century later, the Irish would force America to watch the second and third Boondock Saints movies.
Mardi Gras. Sure, it’s more associated with the French now, but as anyone who has been to the Louvre knows, the French steal everything and call it their own. The Catholic holiday gets its name from the Irish Gaelic words for “Hey, look at those!” and “Boobs.” It is celebrated across Ireland with dancing, revelry and drinking until one cannot stand, or as they call it over there, “Tuesday.”
Branding. When it comes to public image, the Irish aren’t all that concerned. That’s why we don’t mind if you use us for mascots for your college or professional basketball team. Which is something you won’t hear said about those with English heritage. There are no teams called the Fightin’ Limeys or the Lobsterbacks. We Irish even lend our pride to a cereal. Just try naming another nationality that could have a cereal mascot that is politically correct. And would you really want to wash yourself with Hungarian Spring?