The McBournie Minute: Obama wants to take our opinions

There’s a gloom in Washington, D.C. these days. There’s a major battle brewing, and it’s already being fought in the Internet sewers. Soon it will come bumbling up. You see, the citizens feel their constitutional rights are being threatened, and President Barack Obama is to blame. It’s no wonder his second term began under such controversy.

The rights I speak of, of course, are our First Amendment rights. You know, the ones where we get to say whatever we want, assemble peacefully, have our own religion, complain to the government and have a free press. Our rights to have a free media, regardless of its intelligence or lack thereof, are being infringed upon, fellow citizens.

That’s right, America, the Obama administration is coming to take your opinions away.

You have probably heard that some people are worried about their Second Amendment rights and such. Open your eyes, man. The gun lobby and the knee-jerk reactionaries are nothing but patsies. It’s just a distraction to keep everyone’s eyes–even the media’s–off the ball, while the First Amendment is pulled our from under us.

We saw it first, a few years ago, when the so-called president joined Twitter to have a conversation with the people. Only problem is, the people are limited to just 140 characters. It seems from day one, he set out to cut the amount of words we could use, making us have to reload more often. Our forefathers wanted us to be able to rattle off as many nonsensical and misspelled words as we possibly could per second in order to keep our leaders on their toes. They knew that one day technology would allow us to ask literally dozens of people the same question without warning.

Still not convinced, sheeple? Obama is on a mission to break the constitution and run again in 2016. You may think it sounds crazy, but look at the facts. At the close of 2012, we knew who our president would be for the next four years, and some shifted their gaze to 2016. The name on everyone’s lips for the Democrats: Hillary Clinton. Then, what just happens to happen in early December, but Hillary takes a fall, hitting her head and suffering a concussion. She ends up getting a blood clot and later announces she is stepping down as secretary of State. The biggest threat to Obama’s third term is eliminated. (We all know the GOP won’t be a factor in four years, thanks to that powerful special-interest group that allowed him to be re-elected, the Tea Party.)

The rabbit hole goes deeper, my fellow Americans. Do you have the courage to look?

Fast forward to the days before the inauguration. The official record is that Barbara Walters slipped on a step outside the British ambassador’s house one night and cut her head. She was unable to appear for ABC’s coverage of the swearing-in. “Fell and hit her head,” sound familiar? Once again, Obama agents found a threat and eliminated it with a serious injury.

But why was Walters, a well-known journalist, deemed a target? In an interview with her, Obama said about medical marijuana, “We’ve got bigger fish to fry. … It would not make sense for us to see a top priority as going after recreational users in states that have determined that it’s legal.” What kind of “bigger fish” is he talking about? Ready to have your mind blown? That interview aired on Dec. 14, the same day as the massacre of children in Newtown, Conn. Go ahead, look it up.

The Obama administration wanted the focus on unreasonable gun reforms like preventing the sale of guns to crazy people to keep us all looking the wrong way. It’s simple misdirection, folks. And we all fell for it.

We received word that Walters, who helps the public form views by providing the necessary facts, was recovering speedily. Now, it’s been announced that Walters has the chicken pox, which can be threatening to older people, and will likely require an even softer lens be used for her next TV appearance. Obama goons undoubtedly snuck into her hospital to finish the job.

Sounds like Obama’s taking a page from Russian ex-President, ex-Prime Minister, now President Vladimir Putin, who also happens to be from Kenya (I said it!). Putin has circumvented his country’s constitution to remain in power, and Obama is setting himself up to do the same here in the U.S.

Fellow citizens, if I get the chicken pox tonight, YOU’LL KNOW WHY! But I had them as a kid, so it’s highly unlikely.