Folks, you may have notice I was off last week, and if you didn’t, well, you probably aren’t noticing this anyway, so whatever. I spent the week hitting the beaches of Maine, where a great deal of New Englanders go to enjoy the beach and convince themselves that a 60-degree Fahrenheit ocean water temperature sounds good.
It’s also where French Canadians like to go to see how things are in the U.S., and marvel at American innovations like turning right on red, burgers without mayonnaise and the sun. But being at the beach highlights something about the U.S. that we keep hearing time and time again: American’s are a bare skin-loving culture.
And perhaps not all of us should be so sure about our appearances.
Yes, I’m going out on a limb here and saying that the U.S. is overweight. I plan to take this bold statement to First Lady Michelle Obama later this week. I realized that the problem is mostly in areas where people don’t live by a beach they could go to year-round. If you are constantly able to go to the beach, you are constantly aware that other people might be looking at your body at the beach, and should thus put down that milkshake.
But it’s not just weight, it’s also age. Old people, particularly old men, seem to enjoy walking the beach without a shirt on. Perhaps it’s the thrill of being the last of their friends not to use a walker, or just age in general, but they forget that no one wants to see that.
That’s why every beachgoer should stand and salute Roy Lester, a 61-year-old lifeguard, who recently lost his job at Jones Beach State Park in New York. He is suing the state, saying that he was fired because he refused to wear a Speedo. The man had been a lifeguard for over 40 years when the state began requiring its lifeguard to wear the skimpy swimsuits. Lester prefers his biking shorts. He said the move is to get the older lifeguards out of the perch and into the nursing home.
Lester possesses what so many people do not: The realization that some people just shouldn’t wear certain types of swimsuits. He said he believes that “there should be a law prohibiting anyone over the age of 50 from wearing a Speedo.” Amen, brother–er, grandfather.
So remember, folks, if you have to ask yourself, “Does this still look good on me?” The answer is probably not.