The McBournie Minute: The relationship resumé

Some comedian once said that first dates were a lot like job interviews. I’d say he was right, and it is a comparison that probably is not made enough. I recently found this out, when over the summer I decided to flee my old job as best I could.

I had several interviews, and though I’m not new to the job interview world, I could definitely tell that I got better after a couple of them. Heck, I even got so good that someone decided to hire me at a job where I was really happy. What’s different, however, is that in a job interview, you have all your skills laid out there on the table in the form of a resume, a cover letter, and maybe even some work samples.

I don’t think that can really fly in the dating world.

I pondered this, because I am also in the single world again. Well, this isn’t that recent of a happening, but the point is, I need to figure out how people meet each other these days. Back in college, it was a lot easier. You had a set group of people around your age, you had a lot of parties to go to, and you got drunk enough to think someone was not being creepy when they were talking to you. Then you got to meet people at bars when you turned 21, and you discovered, if you were a dude, the art of paying someone in alcohol for them to talk to you. My friend Lynn recently noted that she doesn’t really know anyone who meets in bars after college, so where does one find a date?

Dating has changed over the years, as has romance. In prehistoric times a man simply waited for a woman to walk by his cave so he could club her over the head and bring her inside. This was marriage. The ancient Greeks are credited with the invention of the pick-up line. “Hey baby, wanna see what’s under my toga?” was all the rage for a while. Then, of course, there was dancing, wining and dining, which held as a tradition for centuries, then white people finally realized how dumb they looked dancing, and stuck to dinner and drinks while everyone else continued to dance.

Things have even changed since my parents’ generation. Back then, a man could walk around in tight pants with flares at the bottom, a half-buttoned shirt and a gold chain now and then getting stuck in his chest hair, and women thought he looked good. These days, we men have to put more effort into it, like manscaping.

So, I’ve come up with yet another million-dollar idea: the relationship resumé. Dating sites and blind dates have it all wrong. Like an employer, your potential mate must know about your experience. This could all be found on a web site, I’m thinking something along the lines of LinkedIn, only totally unprofessional.

There, someone could research your past relationships, find out your reasons for leaving or why you were fired, why you are looking for a new position, what skill set you have and even references, if you’re lucky. Women, wouldn’t you love to be able to find out from a third party if the guy who wants to take you out is a mama’s boy, or if he showers regularly? Check the references!

And guys, before these job interviews, remember to have answers ready for these questions: How did you hear about this job? Where do you see yourself in five years? We don’t think this is the best fit, but do you mind if I keep your resumé on file in case we reconsider?