Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen. Anchorman 2 is dead, so sayeth co-writer/director of the first movie Adam McKay. I couldn’t be happier about this news.
Over the past few months, buzz has been growing about a sequel to Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. One by one, cast members said they would come back, and even cut their usual price, since actors like Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell are worth considerably more than they were in 2004 (David Koechner, not so much). Paramount and McKay could not come to terms on the movie’s budget, so they passed on it. Paramount owns the rights to Anchorman 2, so another studio can’t pick it up.
Funny thing is, they already made a sequel to Anchorman, it’s called Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.Obviously, Anchorman was a huge source of inspiration and joy for all of The Guys, and while I can’t speak for anyone else, I’m pretty sure we all feared a sequel like doomsday. Especially me, remember, I’m the one who wants Will Ferrell dead.
Some will argue that Talladega is better than Anchorman, but those people need to realize that without Ron Burgundy, Ricky Bobby would have never happened. Ferrell has been trying to re-make Anchorman since it came out. Why? Not really sure. He also had massive success with Elf, but you don’t see him strapping on the tights for round two, do you?
Contrary to the popular belief in Hollywood these days, not every successful movie needs a sequel, especially comedies. Look at Caddyshack, a cult classic with former Saturday Night Live stars and aging comedians that is still quoted today. Then look at Caddyshack 2. Bushwood should have been burned to the ground after part of it was blown up, to prevent the sequel.
The thought that my beloved Anchorman could get the same treatment has kept me up late at nights, and served as a convenient excuse to drink on more than one occasion. Now, the hopes of an Anchorman sequel, like Christina Applegate’s boobs, are gone forever.
You could say that a bad sequel doesn’t really tarnish the the good movie, and in Caddyshack‘s case, that is certainly correct, but are Star Wars fans glad they got to see episodes I through III? Is there any doubt that Spider-Man 3 put Sony Pictures in serious financial trouble, especially after the planned fourth installment was scrapped for being even crappier?
Sequels to movies that reach the pantheon level is a lot like going back to an old girlfriend after a break-up. You think back to all the good times and say, “Hey, maybe we should give it another whirl.” Then you find that you forgot about all the flaws, and on top of that, your expectations are now way higher. It ends with you wondering what made you think it would have ever been a good idea.
I am proud to say Ron Burgundy and I remain friends, but have no plans to get back together again.