STOP THE PRESSES! STOP THE PRESSES! ZOMG, WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS!
In an article in the New York Times in which our soon-to-be President predicts a Florida win over Oklahoma in tonight’s BCS championship game, it is revealed that Barack Obama’s daughters received a shiny new Nintendo console when Santa Claus visited this year. And by Santa Claus, I mean the taxpayers.
“Mr. Obama said he’d have his hands full attempting to rescue the American economy. But he has gotten in a little practice in bowling lately on the Nintendo Wii his daughters received for Christmas. Mr. Obama, who famously struggled in bowling during last year’s Democratic primaries, said he performs better in the video game.”
That’s right people: the soon-to-be-President of the free world is a Nintendo fanboy. Prepare for Reggie Fils-Aime to become Secretary of Meat.