Speaking of gifted kids, did you know that there’s a good chance yours isn’t?
Well, not yours. Your kid is–of course–actually gifted. He or she just happens to be that 2 to 5 percent of actual gifted children destined to save the world from the Buggers. Don’t worry if you catch them picking their nose or flicking their little Yankee Doodle: that just means they’re eccentric.
Yep, your child’s obvious greatness is a testament to your fantastic parenting, unlike those parents with difficult children with Down’s Syndrome or cerebral palsy. Those parents have it so easy! Some of them don’t even have to chase their kids!
So congratulations to you (yes you), awesome parent of the century. Your child will make millions, and you’ll get into one of the nice homes, where you will be voted Second-Chance Prom Queen or King over and over again by the rest of us.