Uganda in the house

If you’ve been following world events that don’t involve Justin Bieber, then you’ve probably noticed that now is not the best time to be a dictator in the Middle East or Africa.

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni, who has been in power since 1986, isn’t going to take any chances. He’s talking about putting out a rap album because his people think he spits the dopest rhymes. He recently performed two children’s chants that lit up the airwaves, “Naatema akati” (I cut a stick) and “Mp’enkoni” (Give me the stick).

It should be noted that by law, all Ugandan songs must be about sticks.