Update: No dolphins have gone AWOL — yet

Hey, guess what? Remember how we said that there were Ukrainian killer dolphins on the loose? Well, turns out that was a hoax, so it’s safe to go back in the water.

However, there really are Ukrainian killer dolphins, they’re just all accounted for–for now. We’ve told you about how the U.S. Navy has dolphins for similar–ahem–porpoises, and it turns out we aren’t the only ones out there training our enemies how to kill us. Unlike the U.S., the Ukrainian navy doesn’t seem to have plans to switch to robots any time soon.

So you’re still not totally safe.

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