Way to finally join the show, Japan

Deer are a fearsome and deadly animal. Like the bear, they are a godless killing machine. They willingly jump in front of cars, kamikazing into the humans’ simple transportation vehicles. Well, Japan is finally deciding to fight back. Perhaps all that time spent building robots shaped like animals was simply spy work?

The Toyoka Hunting Meister Education School (enjoy long names much?) was established in order to teach a new crop of would-be hunters how to take down these ferocious beasts, with the ever-present problem of aging limiting veteran hunters and marksmen from taking down these creatures.

The school was set up in Hyogo prefecture due to repeated calls to action in the rural prefecture for dealing with extensive farm damage, somewhere in the range of $250 million. It’s really serious.

In one spot between Kyoto and Osaka, a railway network that once stopped for nothing has been overrun by nature’s beastly onslaught, with trains forced to a standstill as a menagerie of deer, boar and monkeys invade the tracks.

You hear that? The deer are conspiring with monkeys. They can use guns. I’m bringing a kevlar vest next time I want really fresh sushi.