We’re here to help.
-Daniel Peter Blair, for continuing to do the act that got you stabbed after being stabbed, you should know that you have a problem.
-Women of the world, continuously objectifying we honest and wholesome men with your scandalous looks after we men get blamed for this very problem, know that you all have a problem.
-Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Malcolm Mackey, for the very same reason that you cannot ask a rainbow to stop being colorful, for ordering that a strip club cannot offer dancing sans clothing, you have a problem.
-Joseph T. Parrott, you have a problem with money. You don’t want to part with it when you’re legally obligated to do so. Deal with it. And your problem.
–The Traffic Department of CW11 Morning News, you have no problem at all, despite what some may say.