Let’s face it, folks, the world is coming to an end very soon, just ask Kirk Cameron or Roland Emmerich. But as we all know, only good Christians are going to go directly to Heaven when the rapture comes.
Of course, this leaves a logistical problem: If I am suddenly going to be taken off the face of the Earth in the Rapture, who is going to take care of my cats, who have no souls, and thus, will not be able to go to Heaven with me?
Enter Bart Centre, atheist author who is offering to watch your pets for a fee when God calls you home without even killing you first. After all, the atheists will be left behind, since they, like the animals, have no souls, only a strong sense of superiority. Centre’s Eternal Earth-Bound Pets offers a 10-year contract for $110. Baptize your pets today and save yourself some money.