What to get the rock star with everything

Sharon Osbourne, wife of walking tremor/rock star Ozzy Osbourne, is having her breast implants removed. She plans to give the disembodied knockers to Ozzy as a present, suggesting that they could be used as paperweights.

This is a surprise to everyone because nobody knew Ozzy has papers to weigh down.

(Perhaps they’ll keep him abreast of his finances.)

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