What your government is doing about the threat from above

Sure, the Obama administration may be a bunch of socialist, peace-loving toddlers, but they do manage to get a few things right now and then. One of those things is an offensive in the War on Animals.

While many of our foes have retreated south or gone into hibernation (the military term is “winter quarters), the might of the U.S. federal government refuses to rest. Recently, the Department of Agriculture claimed responsibility for killing thousands of birds in South Dakota by poisoning them. The USDA said it would do it all again, too.

A hawk has invaded the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C., but it won’t stay there for long. According to the LoC, the hawk hasn’t dive-bombed any researchers yet, but it could, that’s why they’re calling in the Department of the Interior to catch the bird, and “safely return it to the outdoors,” which we all know is code for waterboarding.

2 thoughts on “What your government is doing about the threat from above”

  1. Hey douchebag…
    I’m leaving a comment out of pity.
    Seems you’re all alone in your little stinky bubble. Have you consider shooting yourself in the temple with a .44 mag?

  2. Sorry, Globus. My ammo is reserved only for killing birds. I’m not sure what makes you think I am alone, but I can assure you, the resistance against the animal uprising is growing stronger every day.

    How much did the enemy pay you to post that comment, anyway?

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