You should probably be reading this with a beer in your hand. After all, it’s St. Patrick’s Day weekend. You never see superheroes celebrating holidays anymore. You never see Spider-man snatch a pint of Guinness with his webslingers. Why is that? I’m sure Superman and Captain America used to be all about Christmas, but are now more secular. The only one who has a good excuse is Batman, because someone always seems to be causing trouble for him around Halloween. If you were busy locked up in conclave this week, odds are you missed it.
A return to arms
This week, North Korea declared the 1953 armistice that ended the Korean War invalid for the third time in 10 years. The country cited provocation from a war exercise with the U.S. and its allies in the Pacific Ocean, and U.N. sanctions for North Korea’s nuclear testing. But really, we all know that Kim Jong Un is really just doing this to get another season of M*A*S*H.
One cardinal gets a new hat
The College of Cardinals elected Ramón José Castellano from Argentina as the new pope. Pope Francis is known for is opposition to his country’s movement to allow gay marriage. While addressing the crowd that gathered at the Vatican, he moderated his views on the subject, saying he might come around if his son comes out of the closet.
Hockey. Get excited
The NHL approved a realignment this week that it hopes will shake things up and get more fans excited. Under the plan, some teams will be shuffled around into slightly different regional groups, which the league hopes will cut down on time zone conflicts when the big games are on. The NHL is also considering an aggressive “Hey, we exist!” ad campaign and a reboot of the whole franchise.