You Missed It: Father knows best edition

In case you had not heard from any of the estimated 800,000 news media reports, the economy seems to be heading toward the crapper, if it’s not already there. So if you were busy joining in on the run on the banks, odds are you missed it.

Vienna incest uncovered
On Sunday, the story broke that Josef Fritzl, 73, had fathered seven children with his daughter, after allegedly keeping her and her children held hostage for more than 20 years. Friztl was arrested and the daughter and her children are seeing therapists. Strange sex practices? Holding young women against their will? Law enforcement splitting up families? And they say Europeans are so different from Americans.

The newest ‘Grant Theft Auto’
Grant Theft Auto IV began shipping this week to people who pre-ordered it. Copies of the game quickly sold out in stores and record first-week sales numbers are expected. The game is receiving rave reviews from critics across the board. Also excited about the game’s early success: politicians running for office and looking for the next great witch hunt.

D.C. Madam now deceased madam
Deborah Jeane Palfrey, better known as the D.C. Madam, hanged herself in a shed next to her mother’s house in Florida. Reports indicate Palfrey had planned suicide before going to prison long in advance. There is no doubt many federal officials are crying their eyes out this week now that the D.C. Madam has gone to that big bordello in the sky.

Record high disapproval ratings
A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll released Thursday shows that 71 percent of Americans disapprove of President George Bush–higher than any other president in modern history. After hearing the poll numbers, Bush made a statement acknowledging the poor showing and reminded the Americans that there was still a chance they could be invited to Jenna Bush’s wedding if they change their minds.